Tinki Talks

Security

Was having a nice chat the other day and an interesting topic popped up:

S.E.C.U.R.I.T.Y

Whoa. Don't play play.
That is one very heavy 8-letter word.

*sweat*

Men and women both seek security in life in many ways – in many DIFFERENT ways. What's important to a man is dissimilar to what's important to a woman. As much as men are more open to the evolving gender roles of today, and modern women are ever in a fight to dissolve the gender roles that bind them, our makeups are just not the same. We want different things in life. And as much as our lives are being revamped to blur the lines between the two genders, we still seek security that are poles apart.

Men look for security in their careers and in their ability to provide for their family. (I'm guessing.) While women look for emotional and psychological security above all else. (I know.)

We're quite different aren't we?

But then again, it's worked for us thus far, hasn't it?

But wait.

What about material security?

That's a BIG DEAL to a lot of people, isn't it? In fact, for some people, it's so big a deal that it becomes everything to them. Sigh. Materialism is prevalent in our society. It is. There's no denying it. Women seek out rich guys in hopes of living the good tai-tai life. Men struggling in their career marry rich men's daughters to gain access to their millions. Heck, it's like marrying a gold-mine in a shapely human suit. So in the grand scheme of things, where does material security fit in?

Well, in all honesty, money matters. (Stop it with the Look of Shock. *stab stab* ) I'm just being honest; I'm being realistic. We all need it to survive, don't we? So cut me some slack. I'm not being gold-digger-ish. I just want to be able to pass the days with food on my plate, clothes on my body, shoes on my feet and a roof over my head. The difference between me and THOSE people is that I don't classify money as the most important thing to me. It doesn't top my Security List.

Emotional Security | Psychological Security | Material Security

For me, the least important of the three is material security. Why? Because material security only offers the promise of a more contented physical life – by fulfilling our basic human needs like food and shelter. Emotional and psychological security, however, breathes life to our INSIDES. And come on, we all know that it's the inside that counts.

To have a sense of emotional and psychological security is a feeling that's unrivaled by far. It helps fill our love tanks and lets us know, realize and feel that we matter to the people who tell us that they love us. After all, it's only human to want to feel loved and treasured, adored and pampered, and honored and respected. In fact, we want it so badly that we ache to feel it in our bones.

You see, guys, if you've got material security at the expense of emotional and psychological security, everything becomes pointless because it is inevitable that parts of you eventually die on the inside – parts that are not being fed with the much-needed doses of TLC – parts like your heart and your mind. However, if you've got emotional and psychological security down pat, any (outward-looking) fight is worth it. The effort you put into fighting for material security is paid for in full, emotionally and psychologically, simply because you've got one another to hold on to. You'll always fight the good fight with a full tank of "gas". It's then that you'll discover fighting for that latter form of security TOGETHER fulfilling in its own little way.

However, if you aren't offered emotional and psychological security by your partner, everything becomes a gamble that's hardly worth the risk. Are wealth, riches and earthly possessions really worth the fight for emotional and psychological security? I don't believe so. That's too high an opportunity cost to bear. Lose my soul, my self and my happiness for another dollar or two in the pocket? I don't think so. My answer's a definite "No, thank you."

I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you find someone who can give you all the goodies in the world but isn't a goodie himself/herself, then it's not going to be worth the price you're eventually going to pay. But then, I'm only speaking from a girl's point of view. *blink blink* Hmmm. At the same time though, you guys know I don't always think like the general female population. Haha. I should really come to a conclusion before I successfully confuse myself.

So…

The bottom line is this. If you've found a man (or woman) who is able to offer you all three forms of security, damn, you're a lucky one. May everybody be as fortunate as you are or at least have half your good fortune. If you don't, then it's up to you to decide which form of security is of more importance to you personally. All the best!

HH The Right Way

You know, I remember reading about this somewhere. Many many YEARS ago. Waaay before I even came close to romantically holding hands with someone of the opposite sex. Haha. At that point in time, the max was when I held hands in a circle to pray, or when teacher said to hold hands and walk two-by-two or we'd not be allowed to go for break time. Haha. Young and innocent. I was a good kid, I was. I am a good kid.

Anyways, it was an article or perhaps a forwarded email that said that the way you hold hands is a telltale sign of how long your relationship will last. Silly, I know. But interesting, nevertheless. Do check it out. Haha.

Enjoy!

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METHOD ONE: The Two Intertwined Little Fingers
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Said to be the least "steady" when it comes to romantic relationships. Acceptable only during I-shy-you-also-shy dating periods that are commonly associated to the early months of dating. However, the couple should progress to Method 2 (coming up) as soon as that phase passes. This method should not be practiced in long-term relationships as it signifies a relationship that is easily broken and unable to withstand the test of bad times. It lacks the much needed tenacity to ensure the relationship's survival. Not good. Except for when it comes to the lack of sweaty palms, of course.

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METHOD TWO: The Clasped Hands
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Said to be a one-up from Method 1 but still lacks the staying power that's akin to Method 3 (coming up). May cause sweaty palms but has a significantly higher perseverance level as compared to Method 1. Not a bad start to a relationship but couples should progress to Method 3 so as not to remain in the We'reComfortableWithOneAnother Zone. Couples, do not stagnate but strive to enter the We'reCommittedToOneAnother Zone that comes with Method 3.

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METHOD THREE: The Clasped Hands With Fingers Intertwined
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Said to be the WeHaveMadeItAsACouple Method. May or may not cause sweaty palms, depending on how tightly intertwined the fingers are. This method is complex. WeHaveJustMadeItAsACouple couples tend to tightly grip hands and plaster them together, while WeHaveAlreadyMadeItAsACouple couples employ a more relaxed hand-holding practice, giving each other's palms some breathing room. This apparently signifies how liam-liam (Hokkien for "sticky") the couple tends to be with one another. Increased liam-liam-ity shows higher levels of insecurity and greater levels of clingy-ness. The opposite is true of lower levels of liam-liam-ity.

Hmmm.

Interesting.

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DISCLAIMER: The writer so does not remember the exact information provided. As such, she is simply giving this a shot with whatever her very-limited-but-already-very-full memory has stored and has managed to regurgitate. The writer holds no responsibility for any negative effects (i.e. couple-fights regarding intertwining pinkies and clasping hands, etc…) that may arise from publishing this post. All positive effects are deemed the direct results of the writer's endeavor to educate her readers. Thank you for your kind attention.

5 Lessons of The 14th

Jumped at the chance to people-watch this Valentine's and noticed some boo-boo's a number of couples committed. Laughed my head off and continued people-watching. Not a bad way to pass the time, actually. Haha. But friends, I don't just watch.

*cough cough*

I learn.

Ahem.

*grin*

Don't worry. I'm a nice person. Really.
In fact, I'm so nice that I'll share some of my class-notes with you.

Lesson #1

…Ditch the matching clothing. It's passé. The only stuff couples should ever match is anything people can't see. Underwear or something – anything but what the rest of us are able to see. Hmmm. But then again, matching underwear is just corny. Not to mention it's freakishly weird. Your call.

Lesson #2

…Don't walk by like you think the world is looking at you. Anybody who's a part of a couple (writer excluded) is waaaay too absorbed with each other to even sneak a glance your way. Self-absorbed much? Sheesh. Otherwise, it's just downright mean to hope that a singleton would pass you a glance and salivate over your partner for their lack thereof. Find that heart, okay? I hope you've even got one.

Lesson #3

…Don't be overdressed for the occasion or the venue. Spiky heels, evening gowns and bow-ties are overkills in mere shopping malls. Cocktail dresses are already a pretty far stretch but I'll close an eye. After all, it's not me who's looking out of place. It's you. Haha. But sure, there's always the benefit of the doubt. Maybe you had dinner someplace nice before hitting the mall. Maybe. Hmmm.

Lesson #4

…Ladies, go easy on the make-up. You wouldn't want your men to have to part your fake eyelashes in order to look into your eyes, would you? Plus, I doubt you'd want your lipstick to hitchhike over to your men's pouters to help give them that added ounce of sex appeal, would you? Huh!? Huh?! Would you? FYI, CSI's forensic team calls this phenomenon 'transference'. Heh.

Lesson #5

…One perfume type per couple or none at all – thank you very much. Some scents just don't go very well together, you know? They just don't. So stop giving us headaches and quit with the over spraying. Bomba Malaysia should be called in to hose you guys down if not for the small matter of our impending water shortage. It's a health hazard. Why? Cos you ain't killin' bugs with that hundred-dollar bottle of cologne, aftershave, perfume, or whatever the else it is that you're using. You're killin' the rest of us.

Oh well, I'm done for the night. Am beat. Should I remember anything else, I'll add to the list. Should I remember anything else but be too lazy or busy to post, I'll not. Haha. Subjectivity's a great friend to have.

Anyways…

I'm tired. It's bedtime for me. A long day, it's been.
I have to admit though, I throughly enjoyed myself.
I shall people-watch again. Oh yes, I will, I will.

Ahhh…

Humanity is such a cruel race to have to face.

*snicker*

V-Day vs. The Great Red

It's finally here!

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Sigh.

Yeah, you got that right. That was a sigh.

Why?

Cos I'm so not feeling the love right now.

Somehow or another, Valentine's has been overshadowed by The Great Red. How pathetic. Everywhere I go, stores play mega-irritating chinky tong-chiang melodies out loud and proud, without realization or shame that they've shunned another very important day – a day to celebrate our love for one another. Looks like good ol' Valentine's Day has just been booted off the importance list of Commercialism.

Sad case.

Personally, I'd choose misshaped hearts hanging from shopping mall ceilings and horny-looking cupids pasted on store windows than see those red lanterns and red drapes that frame store entrances. Sigh. I want my Valentine's Day – the highly commercialized one. Full deco is simply a must! Compulsory. No excuses. Gimmie my hanging hearts, darn it!!!

*pouts*

But then again…

*blink blink*

Is commercialism during V-Day really that important?

It's been overrated, don't you think?

Overpriced restaurants that threaten bankruptcy • Expensive gifts that empty pockets and kill wallets • Fancy cards with mush enough to suffocate and cause diabetes • Million-dollar bouquets of flowers that could have fed a third-world country or two • Dilated pupils that make you wonder if it could be one of the many causes of blindness or at least provides reasonable grounds for Love being blamed for the hike in shortsightedness in our population • Overly pouty lips that rival those belonging to Goldie Hawn • Excessive hand-holding… and the various other means we employ to in hopes of showing our partners that we love them.

But do we really need all this?
Heck, why do we even want it?
Hmmm. Yeah.
That's the question – why.

So…

Why la!?

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Commercial Break
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Cupid running away. Heh.
Sorry, I just couldn't resist uploading that pic.
Check out the calf muscles on Mr Runaway Cupid, man.
I'd say "yum" but instead, I think I'll just refrain from doing so. Haha.

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Sigh. I really dunno la, actually. Haha. I started writing this post thinking I knew but it turns out I'm not as smart as I thought I was. HAHA. Darn. Perhaps it's because everybody else wants it. Everybody does it. Therefore, we have to, too. Hold hands, stare into each others eyes – IT'S AN ORDER!

Whoa.

Makes dating sound like quite a chore, doesn't it?
Reminds me of my primary school days when
we had to hold hands and walk two by two.

Except that we're all grown up and are approaching adulthood now.

Darn it.

But it's Valentine's Day and we must persevere.
Hold hands till our sweat glands cry out for mercy, we must.
Stare into each other's eyes till we get double vision, we will.
All the best, y'all.
All. The. Best.

Have a good Valentine's Day this 2007, guys.

Cheers!

Boat-sharing

Okay, here goes my first attempt at a Valentine's post. Haha. (Note: This introductory line is of much importance.)

QUOTE: To say my fate is not tied to your fate is like saying,
"Your end of the boat is sinking."

– TV Host Hugh Sowns in My America

Yeah, preach it, brudder!

*sigh*

Understanding bo?

No?

*shakes head*

See, I knew I had to hint that this is a Valentine's post or else the boat-talk would have just so sunk to the bottom of the ocean along with whatever meaning I meant to give it, or deep insight I meant to add on to it. Right? Right? Just admit it. Aih. Next time think fast a bit can bo? Next time I no more helping you di. Next time own self think ya. Today special. Today I good mood. Got people make my day, so today you lucky a bit.

I have to admit that I just love Manglish.

Now, where was I?

Oh, yes.

The boat-talk with the You-Sink-I-Sink Concept.

Fantastic.

You see, when you're in a relationship, you're both in it together – in it for the ups, the downs, the good and the bad. You take it all… together. You put on a brave front when times are bad and you give shaky smiles and hold sweaty hands when the weather around you grows dark and stormy. You face the worst of times together – side by side and hand in hand. When one goes down, so does the other.

Hmmm. Doesn't make being with another sound like a very easy feat, does it? But, come on. We all want it anyways. We want to know what life is like around the river-bend. And as difficult as it is to carry the responsibility for having "your side of the boat", we each want A side. The best part is that we want someone on the OTHER side to make the boat ride worth the time and effort that come along with nasty sunburns and aching arms. Bah. We, humans, are relational creatures. We don't really want our own boats. Nope. Sure, we talk about it. But what we really want is to SHARE boats. And no, it's not cos it'll cause less congestion or reduce pollution.

*blink blink*

Okay. It's official. I'm lame.
I blame it on the 4 a.m. bug that's hit my brain.

So anyways, the fact of the matter is that when one goes down, so does the other. That's what differentiates and sets a partner apart from a friend anyways, right? That's what makes a girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband/spouse/partner who they are, right?

So what do you do?

You row and you paddle till the sun goes down and comes up again to get to where you're heading. To where you're BOTH heading. And if things aren't going so well for you, you scoop out water from that sinking boat like you've never scooped water before just to stay afloat.

You sink, I sink.
You sink, I sink.
You sink, I sink.

Darn it, my brain's sinking along with the sink sink talk.

Sigh.

But hey, it's not too bad an observation by a TV Host, no? I have to say, I was impressed! Whoever said those in the entertainment industry only had pretty faces but lacked brains sure got it wrong this time. Thumbs up for Mr Hugh Sowns. You rock.

So how was my attempt at a V-Day post? Personally, I don't think it was loved-up enough. I went too easy on the mush. I really shouldn't have. But then again, it's not very nice to raise hairs and send shivers up spines just 2 days before The Day, right? Yeah, I was being nice.

*blink blink*

Argh, who am I kiddin'?! I've always liked writing about Love & Relationships. Go look up my previous posts if you don't believe me. It was only after some comments by SOME people that I changed direction. Made my posts a little less lovey-dovey and reduced the mush level considerably. Kind and considerate to my readers, I am.

Be touched.

You sink, I sink.
You sink, I sink.
You sink, I sink.

No. Wait.
That can't be right.

You float, I float.
You float, I float.
You float, I float.

Yeah. That's better. =)

All Or Nothing

Quoted: "The relationship between a man and a woman is a case of all or nothing. If it's not all, it means that it all means nothing. If you're not going to give me all of you, then I need nothing from you."

Whoa. Well said.

I'm not sure how accurate the translation is but it's from a Korean drama on TV – screened on Thursday nights, probably on NTV7, from goodness knows what time to 10.30 pm. The story's about this young lengchai of a guy who has a 30 year old lady after him, who pretended to be 20 years of age. Thing is, he's already dating a younger woman. Even so, he spent time with this older lady, causing a lot of jealousy and hurt toward his younger lover. Drama. Very banyak drama. And yes, very vague. I know. But if by some miraculous intervention, you guys know the title of this series, do let me know, okay? Thanks.

And the reason I said that the translation
may not be accurate is because…

Firstly, it's a Korean drama,
dubbed over in Mandarin,
subtitled in the Malay Language,
and translated into English by yours truly.

Yeah. Messed up. Go figure.

But still. Good quote. Bravo. Go Korea.

No Option, One Option, Two Options

"I have no choice but to do this."

Ever thought about what that means?

You see, a choice is either an option, an alternative that you have, or a possible course of action that you can take. So let's say I put it this way instead: –

"You have no option but to take this course of action."

Hmmm.

So, when people say that they have NO OPTION, it means that they have only one option that's non-negotiable, right? In other words, they have no choice but to go with that one option that has been set before them.

But if I say you have ONE OPTION, it also means that you have no choice but to go with that one predisposed selection, no? Or does it mean that you actually have two choices at hand and the second one is THE option to the choice that would have been your predisposed selection? After all, people do say, "An option (a.k.a ONE OPTION) would be to take the stairs instead of the elevator," don't they? But hey, you now have two choices at hand (elevator or stairs) but it's just considered AN option (singular).

And now, if I were to say you have TWO OPTIONS, that means you have two choices to choose from, no? Which comes back to having a choice between two specified alternatives – elevator or stairs! Or wait, does it mean that now, you have two options to choose from, your original choice aside? For instance, "Your two options would be to take the stairs or climb walls, instead of taking the elevator." But then, that actually leaves you with three options instead of two – taking the stairs, climbing walls or taking the elevator! Goodness! So then what? What's right and what's not?!

*blink blink*

Are you confused yet?

English is a weird language, I tell you. W-E-I-R-D.

*pause*

And I think that I think too much.

*snicker*

Nah, I'm just messin with ya.
The secret's in the sentence structure.
English rocks. Big time. =)

Being Alone

Being alone on the outside…
is a thousand times easier to bear
…than being alone on the inside.

– pamsong, 14th of January 2007

What Have I To Offer?

Hello dear 2007-tiers! I went on one of my quiz crazes again (some things don't change although old years have gone by and new years have come around) and stumbled upon this particular one: What Element Is Your Love?

*blink blink*

Whoa. Check that out, man! The terror-ness of it all. I tell you, people come up with all sorts of things these days. And the most amazing thing is that there are actually people like me who'd actually spend time doing stuff like that! "What element?" Haha. Amazing.

So… Did you end up having an earth, wind, water, fire or metal kind of love?
As for me, it appears that I'm an Earthling. Heh.
(Phew, turns out I was born on the right planet.)

Your Love Element Is Earth

In love, you have consistency and integrity. For you, love is all about staying grounded and centered. You attract others with your zest for life and experiences, by setting the scene and creating a unique moment in time. Steady progress and stability are the cornerstones of your love life. You may take things too slowly, but you never put your heart at risk.

…who also seems to have a thing for heavy metal some of the time.
(I did the quiz twice cos I just couldn't decide on
the answer for the blasted final question. =p)

Your Love Element Is Metal

In love, you inspire and respect your partner. For you, love is all about fusing together for one incredible life experience. You attract others with wit and a bit of flash, and by making others want and value you. Greatness and optimism are the cornerstones of your love life. You may let go too easily, but you never get weighed down by your past.

NOTE: Results of the quiz have been tampered with
and "unnecessary" information, a.k.a information
that is deemed against Tinki Talks policies
or against Tinki's beliefs, have been removed.

*snicker*

Well, I haven't come to the point of this post, have I? Haha. Forgive me for rambling but it's been awhile since I've had the chance to do so, so just humour me, okay? Thank you you veli mush. =)

*great, big, toothy grin*

Okay. I'll get to the point now.
This question got to me.
It got to me big time.

I must say. I took awhile on this question (the aforementioned blasted final question). Yes, quite awhile. I thought about it and I thought about it some more. What was actually the most important combination of the list to me and what was it that I had to offer my potential partner? I didn't know. That's when the trouble starts. When you don't know what you have and what your strong points are, then the result comes in a one word answer repeated once over, with "la" added in between for the Malaysian effect – "Die la, die."

See, if you don't know what you have to offer, you definitely don't know what you deserve to get. Sigh. This is important stuff, dudes and dudettes! I knew I had to figure it out. Am I one to provide the necessary security and consistency? Do I practice integrity in dealing with them? Or am I compassionate, understanding and blessed with wisdom? Or, alternatively, am I open, certain and generous? Or is it strength, respect and inspiration that I bring into my relationship? Or is it passion, joy and energy that I have to offer my partner? I didn't know.

I believe that the result of the quiz was hugely dependent
(but not entirely) on the answer I provided in Question 5: -

[CHOICE 1]

…versus…

[CHOICE 2]

I ran through my answers again and after awhile, I realized what it was. There WAS a distinction! The first answer, a.k.a Choice 1, was what I actually WANTED in a partner. But what I had to offer was Choice 2 (which, of course, was selected after more thought than the first). Hmmm. Then it got me thinking, "Am I being fair? How could I possibly expect to have a partner who possesses those qualities when I myself am not able to offer those strengths to him in return?" Aih. How la liddat? This could only mean one thing – there is a need for me to improve myself. I now know three areas to work on in my life – (1) security, (2) consistency and (3) integrity.

It's so easy to see the faults in others but we often ignore the same faults in ourselves, no? Thank goodness for silly online quizzes of such or I would probably never have noticed that I needed work in these areas. After all, before looking for the right partner, one should always start by looking inwards and being the right person for the good of ones future partner. 2007 hasn't yet fully kicked in and already, there's work to be done! Hi ho! Hi ho!

One thing though. Perhaps it's a gender thing. I don't know. I'm just guessing. Maybe women are more prone to be naturally able to offer certain qualities (e.g. respect) while guys are more prone to offer others (e.g. security). It kinda brings us back to the gender roles that we have been taught to play. As such, women find it easier to respect their male counterparts while men are naturally geared to provide the necessary security that his woman would require. Hmmm. I'm still working it out in my head but this theory works too, no? What say you?

My Love Quote (Apparently)

What Love Quote Suits You?

Your Love Quote

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.

*coughs*

It's "WHICH" actually.

*coughs again*

Yeah yeah, so I was bored. So what? Wasted a little time. So what? Did me a couple of quizzes. So what? Go ahead. Sue me. I'm in such a rotten mood lately that I probably wouldn't even give two-hoots about what you think anyways.

*blinks*

Wow. Don't be hatin' me, alright. Just feelin' a little foul around the edges. What was this post about again? Love quotes, was it? Yeah yeah. You feelin' the love? Nah, I'm thinkin' not so much. Not right now. Bleh. Okay, fine. I'll try to focus (and be nice while I'm at it).

"Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired."

Cheh. Will you just look at that! What happend to being original, man?! This is what I call "quote piracy". Them fancy folks call it "plagiarism", a.k.a "text-ing without including the proper (and very necessary) citation".

HEY! It's by ROBERT FROST, okayyy!
So difficult to write a two-word name meh?!
Sheesh…

*blinks*

I so need to get rid of the wrath within. I can't even
publish a proper post properly. (No pun intended.)

*flexes arm muscles, cracks knuckles, stretches legs, clears throat*

Honestly, I have to say that I disagree with this one. This is a super-duper-kau-lat-selfish quote. Come on, man. It'd be very selfish to think of love this way. Why? Cos it's only taken from a very selfish viewpoint – the receiving end. How shallow. Not much love in only wanting to receive love and not give any, no? If all I want is to get, then where's the love in that? It's non-existent. Zilch. Nada.

So perhaps it should have gone this way:
"Love is an irresistible desire to irresistibly desire."

Hmmm. No, that doesn't really work either. If it were this way, then it'd be just about giving while expecting nothing in return. Yes yes, I know that's what people SAY it should be about. All that you-can't-love-without-giving babble. But really now. Think about it. Would any of you really want to be in a relationship that offers you nothing and drains every bit of you every day that you're together with your partner? Well, I for one wouldn't desire such a relationship. It's tiring to upkeep such life-sucking relationships. Unfilled love tanks are a sad sight to behold, you know? They walk around like empty shells. Not a pretty sight. No no.

Love is all about two-way traffic, my friends. Both, giving (without having to be asked to) and receiving (without even having to expect it) are equally as important. If both are offered and accepted simultaneously by both parties, it opens the window for the concept of equilibrium to exist in the aspect of L&R. (Yes, I took Economics, too.) Should an equilibrium point exist, both demand and supply (opposing forces) of love are matched and successfully balanced. And of course, equilibrium brings with it a certain calm and stability that attaches itself to the relationship. Not that things get boring, but a point where both parties are being satisfied with their intake and outflow of love, as well as interest and investment in the relationship.

Aih, let's not get too technical with this. It's simple, really. Whatever it is, it all boils down to two-way traffic. it either goes both ways or no way at all. So, I'll be kiasu. I'd very much prefer it if the quote went this way instead:

"Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired,
and an irresistible desire to irresistibly desire."

So very the super-duper-kau-lat-kiasu.

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Tinki's Tongue Twister of The Day
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Say the words, "Publish a proper post properly."

Did that? Now, repeat the sentence over and over again.

How well did you do? I didn't make it past 3 times. Dang.

Mr OTH

The time has come! Haha. Yes yes, it's time to heat things up and bring in the man who's caught my eye.

Ahem ahem.

Presenting, the one and only
Mr Jake Jagielski from OTH!

Tada!

*sighs*

He is (in Peyton Sawyer's words) "a total fox."

*wink*

Well, ladies and gentlemen, this lengchai-gentleman-basketballer-singlefather-returningstudent-cum-hunk of a man appeared in 25 episodes on the famed OTH and was Peyton's (played by Hilarie Burton) love interest for quite a number of those episodes. The last he appeared (so far, that is) was on Season 3: Episode 21: Over The Hills and Far Away. (I watched this episode already! So nice!) Haha. I'm sure they'll bring him back. They have to!

Anyways, his character is to-die-for, I tell you. See, he plays this highschool student who's also a single father to a little girl named Jenny Jagielski. He fathered her with this lousy runaway-but-is-now-back-to-fight-for-custody-cos-she-so-doesn't-know-what-she-really-wants mom called Nikki (played by Emmanuelle Vaugier). Thing is, he has this air about him. It's like he's mature but tired; yet, although he's weathered, he still has faith in the world and in the goodness of men. You've really got to check him out yourself. It's hard describing someone so… close-to-perfect. Haha. Of course, I'm referring to his character alone. I wouldn't know if he's a total jerk in real life.

But check this out! He's actually an accomplished singer and musician in real life. In fact, he performed an original song, as well as a cover song in tribute to the recently deceased indie musician Elliot Smith, on One Tree Hill. In total, he's sung four songs on OTH, actually – "Say Yes" (Episode 106 | "Life In a Glass House") , "Mind Leak" (Episode 109 | "You Gotta Go There To Come Back"), "Lonely World" (Episode 109 | "You Gotta Go There To Come Back") and "Someday" (Episode 320 | "Everyday Is a Sunday Evening"), the last two being original tracks from his album Someday EP. Someday isn't that nice a song actually. That I have to admit. It sounds very old school and is but a teeny-tiny step away from falling directly into Snoresville. Bleh. But… his voice is pretty okay lar. Slightly raspy and pretty rugged. Haha. Anyway, considered can sing song worrr. Bravo, boy! Bravo.

And you know what? If you watched the episode I posted earlier, you'd see that the fella so can kiss, man. It's skill, I tell you. Pure skill. Lucky for you guys, I've decided to be nice. If you didn't catch the episode, you can check him out here as well. It's to the song Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. This short video also gives you a glimpse of the ups and downs that come with his love-thing with Peyton.

*sighs*

Yes yes, I agree, Peyton.
He's a total fox, alright.

*snicker*

And you know what else I didn't know? I didn't know that he was the lead in Prime! Haha. Never realised that. I know I thought the lead there was kinda cute but… Heh heh. I didn't know it was THIS particular cutie. Yum! So you see, he really can act as well, okayyy. He's not just a smalltime TV episode star only, okayyy. He acts in movies as well, okayyy. Starred opposite Uma Thurman, okayyy. Relatively (almost) big movie star, okayyy. Dun play play.

*sigh*

But anyways, whatever the case, I'd like to remind you that it's the character, Jake Jagielski, that I like, NOT the real person. That said, let me tell you what did it for me. There was this scene where Peyton and him were making out in her bedroom. Thing was, Peyton was worried about how the night would unfold for she felt that she was less "experienced" than he was (seeing that he had a daughter and all). This a part of the dialogue for that scene: -

PEYTON:  It’s still a big deal to me.

JAKE:  (Pauses) Come here.

(She moves closer to him.)

JAKE:  I’m so happy to be with you right now. I mean, I could barely think straight most of the week.

PEYTON:  Yeah, me too.

JAKE:  Right then, listen to me. I haven’t felt like this in forever… and… I know that I might lose cool points by saying this, but,… let’s just… go slow. Okay?

A few scenes after, he's in a supply closet rattling on to a video camera that's stationed to videotape the students for a time capsule project. At that point, he says: -

JAKE:  So, I’m seeing this girl and I think our experience levels are a little different, you know, but… even so, I’m doing something with her that… I’ve never done before; I’m falling in love.

That's the way, man. Phew. What a guy.
Sadly, he's only a fictional character on TV. =(

*sniffles and then proceeds to wipe drool off chin*

p/s: FYI, his real name is Bryan Greenberg. =)

A Father's Love

No other love on Earth compares to the self-sacrificing love of a parent.

So tell me, if an earthly father can give of himself so fully in order to give his son the experience of living a life like everybody else, what more is our Father in heaven willing to give up for us? Not just an experience at living a normal life. No. A whole lot more – the eternal experience of life everlasting. How awesome is that?

And guys, there's another one here that I found. It goes with the song from my earlier post. I think I liked and understood this version better after I saw the documentary. Both are beautiful in their own way. Both touch and pull at the heartstrings just as greatly. But then again, the best love stories need not the help of words, right?

Enjoy.

This post is dedicated to Dick and Rick Hoyt
– the father-and-son team from Massachusetts.

Counselor Tinki

I was clearing my Friendster Inbox today. You won't imagine what kind of rubbish I've collected over the years – forwarded messages, help-us-find-this-girl messages, forward-this-or-lose-all-your-testimonials messages, Friendster-is-closing-down messages, hi-how-are-you-doing-long-time-no-see messages, I-miss-you messages and of course the many very famous may-I-Friendster-you messages amongst others from friends and strangers alike.

Phew.

It took awhile but clearing up was pretty fun. Oh, how things have changed. People who used to messages no longer do and messages that once brought squeals of laughter now just seem lame and boring. Whatever the case, they all brought back memories. Nice ones and some not-so-nice ones.

It was then that I decided to take a peek into my Sent Messages while I was at it and even I couldn't believe what I found! Haha. I actually counseled someone (a stranger, actually) back in early 2005! Haha. I don't remember whom exactly but it was some guy who messaged me saying that he had problems with his girlfriend. Apparently he had started to feel like he was falling out of love and he couldn't find a reason to keep dating her although he'd been dating her for seven years already. SEVEN! Dang. Dun play play. Commitment sial. Thing is, of late, she's been really mean and she's done some things to hurt him and it's begun to take its toll on their relationship. Well, he needed some advice (female insight) and he said that he thought of asking me cos of what he read from my About Me section. (I had some idealistic love talk going on then, I think. I can't remember.) Haha. So what did I do? I replied lor!

*points downwards*

Look! Look!

-----------------------------------------------------------
Date: Tuesday, 4 January, 2005 | 12:90 PM
Subject: To love with or without a reason?
-----------------------------------------------------------

MESSAGE: wow... man, you got a lot of thinking to do... you sound really frustrated... i haven't been with anyone for 7 years so it's a little hard for me to digest and interpret what you've just shared... however, do bear with me as i do my best to answer you based on my limited understanding and experience...

i personally believe that people choose to be with someone because they love them... here, the reason is love... pure and simple... but the cause of love is, of course, not that simple... i am one who loves without reason... in fact, i FIND reason and meaning when i'm in love... that's what love is after all... loving regardless of the situation and seeing the best in our partners... in fact, we should LOOK for the best in them, appreciate them for it and accept them for all they're not... come on, no one's perfect... not you, nor i, and not our partners...

and when it comes to love, reason and logic are often at the back of our minds... our emotions and feelings take over... take for example, a female lawyer who falls in love with a lowly fisherman and chooses to marry him... does it make sense? was it a wise decision? what's the reason here? love... there's nothing to explain and honestly, it can't be... that's the beauty of love...

if you need a reason to love, let it be because it's her/him... it's an "i love you for who you are" kinda thing... not in terms of attributes and strengths or weaknesses... things like that fade with time but it's a fail proof plan to love the person for all that they are and all they aren't... right?

however, let me flip the coin a little... that was about love... love that lets you live on a high 24/7... where everything's sunshine and roses... but when it comes to life, be sure that the love you're giving is worth the love you're getting... if your partner does not love you like you love him/her, or if it's gonna hurt you in the long run (like loving an abusive person), then give it up... it's for your own good... forget the 7 years... you've got your life ahead of you and that's a hell longer than 7 years...

therefore, i leave you with this... love is a choice... and be sure that when you love someone, it's for who they are... the good, the bad and the ugly... but at the same time, be sure that you are not taken for granted or hurt in your efforts to rekindle your love...

will be keeping you in prayers... take care and God bless... =)

- pamsong -

----------------------------------------------------------

Tada!

La la la.

Not bad for a 20 year old, huh?

Haha.

Perhaps I should have taken Psychology or something cool that messes with peoples heads and lives. That'd rock big time. At least it'd give me something to do in my spare time aside from clogging your mailboxes with updated blog e-mails at ungodly hours.

HAHA.

*blinks*

By the way, does anybody know how to turn that function off?

*scratches head*

Family by Blood or by Choice?

Quote: "Just because you have the same blood running through your veins doesn't make you family. Look at us, Clark. I'm a product of my father's breeding. He needed an heir. But your parents chose you out of love. I'd take your family any day of the week."

~ Smallville, Season 4, Episode 16: Lucy.

Lex said that.

*look right; look left*

Okay, fine.

*grumble grumble*

The scriptwriter let Lex say that.

Bleh.

Okay, enough about all that. This is serious business. I really like this quote and I feel that it so adequately sums up our problem in the world today. Yes, there's a problem. One that we've ignored for far too long. What makes family, Family? What qualifies them the rank? What promotes them the position? What gives them the right to the title? What crowns them the honour?

I don't know.

Sometimes, we find that some of us are fortunate enough to find people whom we have the privilege to CHOOSE to call Family. Better yet, if we happen to find people who'd choose US and call us Family in return. Such relationships are now far from common. In a dog-eat-dog world, everybody's out to cover their own backs. Nobody looks out for the rest no more. Everybody fights for themselves and for no one else. "There's no time for such back-patting", they say. "Maybe on another day", they continue.

But another day comes and goes and in time, the Tomorrows of Today inevitably age to become the Yesterdays of the Day After. With that, we all become people of Today who throw away their promises of Tomorrow in trade of Yesterdays that they'll never have the chance to relive. You'd be surprised at the number of Tomorrows that have entered the Yesterday Bin. I've lost count as the days pass me by.

Sigh.

We really should change.

But we don't, do we?

No.

Instead, we continue down the Yellow Brick Road in search of our private Lands of Oz, like horses racing with blind bridles, digging their hooves into the ground and heading for the Finish Line without even a moment to spare to look to the right or to the left. Like these horses, we race through life, forgetting everybody and leaving them behind, while forfeiting every relationship, even those with the potential to grow into something beautiful in days to come. We give everything up before we even give ourselves the chance at any of it.

Why?

Sigh.

I don't know.

Could it be that we're so immersed into our own selfish and highly narcissistic worlds that we fail to look anywhere beyond our own backyards? Could it be that we're drowning ourselves and the people around us as we fight for progress in our chase for 'The Good Life'? Or could it be that we just lost the ability to awaken, activate or rouse relationships that are worth more than the links that tiny red cells running in narrow tubes provide us? Have we all become so shallow that only blood binds us together?

I hope not.

I hope that I'm more than that.

It's so rare when people who share no blood relation sacrifice for one another or even stand up for one another, that when the world is given the chance at a whiff of such divine relationships, they zoom in on it and publicize it for all to see. They put such relationships on a pedestal for all to strive to become. Why? Because the world could always do with more Family.

Remember Pierre Png, from Singapore who gave a part of his liver to his girlfriend, Andrea De Cruz, back in May, 2002? Some tabloids called it the ultimate act of love. It was reported that the it was the first liver transplant operation at the centre from a living person who wasn't related by blood. Well, looks like such sacrifices don't come by too often, do they? The difference in their case was that he made her his Family of Choice. The couple eventually got married in October, 2003, and were made Ambassadors of Romancing Singapore 2003.

See? What'd I tell ya?

The world wants Family News but rarely gets enough of it.

The world subconsciously craves it, demands it, needs it.

But we're still facing a lack.

Sigh.

So what does it take to be the Family of Choice?

I don't know the answer to that either. Hah. Looks like I don't know as much as I thought I did. But I do know this. I believe that when Families of Choice do come along, if you keep your eyes and heart open, you'll see them and you'll definitely feel the beats of their hearts echoing yours. Then, you'll know. You never know but it may be the family you choose for yourselves who prove themselves worthy to be called Family in the end.

Look, I'm not against Family, okay. Family rocks. Being part of a family rocks bigger time. I know that for a fact. I love my family – my BLOOD family. I've got great parents who've given me more in life than I could ever have wished for. Who've sacrificed more for me than I ever would have thought possible. And who've loved me more than I could ever have hoped to be loved. But there are days when I wish the world saw the value of Families of Choice. It's not that I'd rather have Families of Choice as opposed to having a Family of Blood and Birth. No.

But why can't I have both?

May I Friendster You?

Friendster's great. I know it is. I believe so, regardless of what them MultipLIARS say. But sometimes… Some weird people do turn up here. Different people join Friendster for different reasons. I joined to get connected to friends I already know, those whom I'm having difficulty keeping in touch with or updated with. Others perhaps joined the network to meet new people. Well, when us – two very different minds – meet, it really bugs the hell out of me.

What's up with random-I-haven't-even-seen-you-before-in-my-life people who ask to befriend strangers? I don't get it. Don't these people have any REAL friends? Sheesh. Come on, we already have enough Hi-Bye friends as it is. Heck, we sometimes even forget some of their names! Do we really need anymore I-Dunno-You-You-Dunno-Me friends on our friend list? No!

Hmmm.

Do they even qualify to be called "friend" in the first place?

Bleh.

Uh, like "NO".

It irritates the hell outta me. Really. It does. And the best part is this: they usually have F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C English. The kind that'd kill my English lecturers on the spot – no physical contact needed. Hah. How, you say? With superb lines like these: -

"MAY I FRIENDSTER YOU?"

*blinks*

Say what?

Sigh.

Beh tahan, man.

---------------------

And on a different note: -

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, y'all!

*blinks*

Whatever.

Sigh.

Rock on.

p/s: Go easy on the candy.

Cancer On A Stick

Yes. Yes. Look at 'em.
All neatly arranged in a row,
looking all smug and jolly.

Hmmm.

Tell me now, how exactly does spending Cancer Cash make you feel good? I just don't get it… Paying for slow suicide is fun to you? Those Cancer Sticks are precisely that – cancer on a stick! In a world of 7-Eleven's and drive-thru Value Meals, I doubt we even need take-away cancer, do we?

And come on, tell me now… How does having a chimney stuffed into your mouth help in looking cool? Ridiculous – yes; cool – no… I really like this:

– Light Up. Be Cool. Drop Dead.

Heh heh… Time to quit, or be beat… Mwahahaha… Yes, yes… As you can see, I'm throughly enjoying this…

If you're a smoker, why not try this: -

Expensive? Yes.

Painful? Yes.

Torture? Yes.

Good.

Suck it all in and enjoy every minute while you're at it. Have a good day, y'all!

You Tell Me

Change is good. It's never welcomed, but nevertheless, it's good. And honestly, I think that you guys wouldn't really mind this change. No long posts for you today. No lengthy monologues. No tiresome dramas. No depressive scenarios. And definitely, no mind-boggling methaphores.

You know how it's always MY thoughts and MY ramblings and MY ideas on Tinki Talks? Well, tada! Suprise suprise! Today's special. It's YOUR day to say all you want right here on Tinki Talks. Heh heh. So, my question of the day is this:

"Is it possible to know someone TOO well?"

You tell me.

Decide, Woman, for I'm Afraid of the Ice

Have you ever found that sometimes, life throws you a couple of punches you never expect or weren’t prepared for? Well, over the past couple of weeks, I’ve had the opportunity to duck some of ‘em. I can’t say that they’re bad experiences. No, no. They’re just…well, experiences. I wouldn’t categorize them as good or bad ones. Okay, I lied. I can’t categorize them. Believe me, I tried. Hah. I’ve got “un-categorize-able” (if ever there were such a word) experiences under my belt. Zippedy-doo-dah for me.

*long sigh*

Well, the thing is, I always thought that things would turn out a certain way for me. I guess I sorta planned on them turning out the way I wanted them to. I mean, not just by my own strength or by my own will alone. Nope, that’s stupid. But heck, I even prayed about it. Well, wonder of wonders, after everything, the ice cracked last week.

Are you guys lost?

I’m sorry. Here, let me explain myself. I was a skater. I mean, I owned a pair of skates before and I did take on a couple of lessons. It's almost like dancing except that you move much faster on ice than you do on solid ground. It was fun. I liked it. I initially thought I was doing pretty well but after a bad fall a few lessons later, I quit. I shoved the skates into the back of the storeroom and told myself that I never wanted to brave the ice again.

Well, it took me a long time to discover that I still wanted to skate. It came with a rude awakening just when I thought that life could go on without me being on the ice. I thought I didn’t need the wind in my hair or the shoop-shoop sound of my blades on ice. Never thought I’d say this but if anything, I wanted my old skates back. “Nah, I’ll never find them. They’re way too far back in the closet and way too deep in the dust for me to ever find them,” I told myself. “And, come on,” I went on, “They’re bound to be too tight by now. After all, I’ve grown up. They won’t fit my feet anymore.” I left it at that.

Well, the skates turned up one day while Mummy was spring-cleaning. I swooped in for a good look at them. Hmmm. Not too shabby. Hell, I had taste back in the day. Hah. But nah, I don’t think they’ll fit. Nevertheless, I tried ‘em on just for size. *grunt* A tight squeeze but I guess the weather messed with the leather and it got loose due to the humidity or something. I don’t know. Whatever it is, it wasn’t as uncomfortable as I thought it would be.

Hmmm.

Here comes the point where I reached a junction. “To skate, or not to skate” – that was the question. I couldn’t decide. I didn’t know what choice to make. My head told me, “Eh! Stupid ah you? Fall before summore dunno how to scared meh? Plus, you know your bad back won't be able to take another fall.” But my heart said, “Hey, you know you can learn again. Second time round is never as difficult as the first.”

Sigh.

Well, here was where I started to pray. I had to know from Someone greater than I. I had to have the insight of a mind that’s not of this world that also knew my situation better than I did. I didn't want to sign up for lessons, pay the registration fee, go for a couple of lessons then end up quitting a second time round. That'd be a total waste of time and money.

Ding!

The microwave popped and I think I got my answer.

Phew.

Okay, fine. I’d skate again. I’d have to sign up for classes and get a proper suit. But first things first. I decided to wear my skates for a few minutes each day to comfortable-ize (my English stinks) them. After all, it’s been awhile. So, day in and day out, that was what I did. Just for a few minutes. Some days, those minutes stretched while for some other days, I barely had the time to step into them before stepping out again. The preparation for my classes was working out very well for me. Things were comfortable and I never had to go out of my way to keep to my skate-loosening ritual.

But things aren’t sweet all the time, right?

I suddenly got to know that the teacher I liked and was counting on learning from would be away on maternity leave. Dang. What now? Should I just forgo the classes and give up my dream? Perhaps I should. What if some other psycho teacher kills me on the ice before I even complete all my lessons? I didn’t know what to do. Things weren’t working out like I thought they would. No smooth sailing for me this time. I had to choose – to wait till my teacher-of-choice returns or to go ahead and tread into the unknown with another teacher.

Think, Tinki, think!

Dang. What bad timing. And just when I was on the verge of starting my lessons, too. Sigh. Well, things happen, huh? Roll with it. But after that, what next?

Well, brilliant me decided to take the chicken-shit’s way out. That’s it la. I decided to call off the lessons once and for all. If Mrs Teacher-of-Choice returned eventually, I’ll decide then, to decide again.

But wait. As soon as I made my decision, things went haywire. My friends started introducing me to roller-blading and roller-skating. Close seconds, yes, but nope, not exactly my cup of tea. Next, I started getting weird calls and emails from skate schools around the area. They began promoting their teachers to me, some of whom I already knew, while some others I didn’t. Sure, some seemed like pretty good teachers – the kind that I’d introduce my friends to. But none that struck my fancy. One thing that this did was that it sure opened my eyes to a whole world of the availability of skating teachers. There are so many of them! I guess if I wanted to, there would be one who’d be able to take the place of Mrs Teacher-of-Choice.

But… Perhaps I just didn’t trust that they were capable of breaking my super-duper-uber-power fear of the ice. Or maybe it was as simple as the fact that I didn’t like the fella’s haircut or teeth. I don’t know what it was but I just didn’t end up going for lessons with any of them. Well, even so, the calls and emails didn’t cease. Sigh.

How now? I think skating teachers go through some special student recruitment technique course before they get to teach cause they sure weren’t letting up. Perhaps not until I started classes with A teacher – ANY teacher. Well, guess what the first thing that went through my mind was.

“Mrs Teacher-of-Choice, ditch your baby and come back la!”

*blinks*

Okay okay. I think I’ve strayed way too far from what I wanted to say. I can’t even remember how I started this post. Bleh. I love kids. I wouldn't dream of asking her to ditch that baby. No, no, I wouldn't ask (though I know my life would be a whole lot easier if she did that).

So anyways, all I’m saying is that sometimes, we’ve gotta make choices. These choices are thrown at us without us expecting them but nevertheless, we’re expected to hit right back and aim straight, too. It ain’t easy. It never is. But you know, in my case, my problem came when Mrs Teacher-of-Choice decided to go off for maternity leave. That was why I had to decide on my next course of action. And the thing is with this saturated industry is that if one teacher leaves, another one is always ready to step right up and take that teacher’s place. The market is such.

Sigh.

That doesn’t make it easy for us students, especially not for ice-fraidy cats who want to skate so badly but are unwilling to risk another fall. Choice is not always a good thing to have. Thing is, I’m at crossroads whether I like it or not. I wish that Mrs Teacher-of-Choice was too and that she’d decide to return to help me conquer the ice again. Thing is, I don’t think they even told her that I registered for those blasted lessons. Ish. She’s at the wrong place at the wrong time! For all I know, by the time she chooses to return, the ice would have melted and Winter has moved into Spring.

*grumble grumble, frown frown*

For now, here’s what I think – when you find yourself crossroads, or worst still, at the wrong place at the wrong time, it's time to move those legs, get off that butt and go places – the right places. Who knows, you’d probably make someone’s life a whole lot easier.

Bleh.

All The Way from January to December

You know how they've got these horoscope-starscope-jingly-nona-babble for every birth month of the year, right?

*this is your cue to nod ya heads*

But have you guys ever noticed that they're freakishly accurate? Scary. Anyways, a friend sent me the personality list for his birth month and I asked for mine but that was all I got from him – November and another month. Bleh. So, me being me, I just HAD to get the complete list of months from January right up to December.

Side tracking just a bit here. You see, you've gotta understand this bit about me. I think I'm a C. Yes yes, people deceive themselves all the time. I'm no different. I do it, too. =p

*blinks*

Okay, so getting back to the subject at hand, I just HAD to get the full list and, of course, me being typical-uber-considerate me, I've decided to post it here for all you fellas out there to take a look. Just ignore some weird stuff like "thinking generous" cos I have no idea what that is. Other than that, I've already corrected the "off" sounding stuff I found so your read should be a pretty smooth one.

*this is your cue to say "Thank you"*

JANUARY TALKER

Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all.

FEBRUARY SMARTS

Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexiest out of everyone. A real speed demon. Has more than one best friend. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH CUTIE

Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous. Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well with others. Very confident. Sensitive. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Able to cheer everyone up and/or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and others. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and traveling. Systematic. Hot and has brains.

APRIL GORGEOUS

Drop dead gorgeous. Attractive personality. Very sexy. Affectionate and secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Chatterbox. Loves to talk a lot. Loves to get their way. Unbelievable kisser. Easily angered. Very stubborn in the most ways possible. Loves to get noticed. Willing to take risks for others. Makes good choices. Has great fashion sense. Maybe a little too popular with others. Outgoing and crazy at times. Intelligent. Can sometimes be a heartbreaker. Can love as much as possible. Hates insults. Loves compliments. Just one of the clumsiest people you will ever meet. A very big flirt. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. The best in bed out of these months. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others.

MAY FREAK

Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Having many children. Hardworking. High spirited.

JUNE SHYNESS

Fun to be with. Loves to try new things. Boy/girls love you. You are very hot. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Spazzy at times. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

JULY FLIRT

You’ve got the best personality and are an absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt and more than likely have a very attractive partner. A wicked hottie. Likes somebody with an August birthdate. It is also more than likely that you have a massive record collection. You have a great choice in films, and may one day become a famous actor/actress yourself – heck, you’ve got the looks for it.

AUGUST ATTITUDE

Outgoing personality. Takes risks. Feeds on attention. No self-control. Kind-hearted. Self-confident. Loud and boisterous. Very revengeful. Easy to get along with and talk to. Has an “every thing’s peachy” attitude. Likes talking and singing. Loves music. Daydreamer. Easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. Big imagination. Loves to be loved. Hates studying. In need of “that someone”. Longs for freedom. Rebellious when withheld or restricted. Lives by “no pain, no gain”. Caring. Always suspicious. Playful. Mysterious. “Charming” or “beautiful” to everyone. Stubborn. Curious. Independent. Strong-willed. A fighter.

SEPTEMBER LOVER

Sexy as hell, loves sex and making love, tends to be so hot. Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys making love. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore. Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand. You are a great match with somebody in July.

OCTOBER BABE

Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the centre. Great in bed. Inner and physical beauty. Doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. A meaningful love life partner. Makes right choices. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Does not harm others. It is all about love and fairness. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Horny but does fulfill. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Know what to do to have fun. Unpredictable. Someone to have close to you. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest and sexiest of them all.

NOVEMBER HOTTIE

Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people easily and very social in a group. Fearless and independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the greatest men are born in this month. If you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because they’re one of a kind.

DECEMBER BEAUTY

This straight-up means you're the most good-looking. Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best.

Hmmm. Okay. Fine. I have to say it. Most months sound the same and there are plenty of overlaps in personality. Bleh. Perhaps we're being conned. But, whatever it is, I still think that mine's pretty accurate. Hah!

*blinks*

Whoa. Déjà-vu.

*blinks again*

You know what? I feel like I've posted this before. Hmmm.

p/s: Happy 22nd Birthday!
(You know who you are.)
Love you. Mwah! =)

------------------------------

Post Updated October 17, 2006 at 03:25 AM.

My arm was twisted to rewrite a sentence from the above-posted material.

"Anyways, a friend sent me the personality list for his birth month and I asked for mine but that was all I got from him – November and another month."

Here goes.

Anyways, ONE OF my best friends sent me the personality list for his birth month and I asked for mine but that was all I got from him – November and another month.

Will that do?

------------------------------

Post Updated October 17, 2006 at 03:34 AM.

Looks like some people are never happy. Fine. I'll rewrite this one last time. You'd better make this worth it.

Anyways, my best-human-friend sent me the personality list for his birth month and I asked for mine but that was all I got from him – November and another month.

Done. Now, smile.

Earning Respect 101

I was looking through some blogs earlier this week and I found a particular post on earning respect exceptionally interesting. The thing is, earning respect can be simpler than you think. IF you're willing to stand for what is right and do what is, not only deemed respectable by society in general, but is also considered respectable in your own eyes. Check this out.

-----------------------------
Earning Respect 101
-----------------------------

1. Refuse a slut.

2. Appreciate her body but compliment her wit.

3. Praise in public; critise in private.

4. Stay sober when no one would blame you for drinking.

5. Become what you told people you always wanted to be.

6. When some idiot says "Ugh, you actually like that?" Say, "YES."

7. Do the dirty work required; don't take the short cut.

8. Risk being hated for doing the right thing.

See. It ain't that hard to be a person who rightfully deserves to be respected, no?

Respect is a funny thing, ain't it? It doesn't take much to earn the respect of the people around you. But at the same time, also takes very little to lose the respect of the people around you. Sadly, earning it is a whole lot more difficult than losing it. It could take you a lifetime to earn the respect of those around you but a single mistake on your part could cost you that lifetime's work.

Sigh.

If only it were the other way round.

Hah.

If only.

Habits of the "Me"

Today is just one of those (rare) days where you get a glimpse of the real me. Was just sitting down and starring daggers at the comp for the longest time cos I finally finished my WD assignment. Phew. One down, three more to go. Sigh. School stinks. I don't know why I put myself through it all over again. I mean, GD's fun. And I don't mind Copywriting. It's that blasted WD that I can't stand.

I'm rambling, aren't I?

So anyways, I just kena-ed on MSN for never replying messages. I don’t? But I thought that I do! Always always!

*waits for cheers of agreement*

*silence*

Uh…most of the time.

*looks around for silent nods*

*no movement in crowd*

Sometimes?

*gulp*

Okay, fine. Never.

*frown*

That got me thinking, you know? I mean, I always thought that holding a Bachelor's Degree in Communications would pay off and I’d become some super-communicator of the 21st century! The kind that you say, “ALL HAIL SUPER-COMMUNICATOR, TINKI!”

*blinks*

But could it possibly be that I’m… not?

*blinks again*

Sigh. I thought about it and I thought about it some more. Eventually, the thinking got me to writing this post.

-----------------
MSN Habits
-----------------

I'm always online. Or I'm never online. It really depends. I'm always "Away" or "Busy", and even when I’m “Online”, I’m not really at my comp. Therefore, I refuse to take the blame if I rarely answer msn messages. My friends should all have upgraded super powers to smell out my presence in cyberworld.

--------------------
Internet Habits
--------------------

I check my mail (only Gmail), Tinki Talks and Friendster before bed every night. Every. Night. I’ve come to realise that I can't live without the Internet, though I’ve survived days without it. Hmmm…

-------------------
Phone Habits
-------------------

I rarely answer calls from unknown numbers. I rarely return calls. Nope, correction. I think I don’t return calls. I don't reply sms-es that are "dated". I don’t have enough space for my sms-es anymore.

----------------------
Sleeping Habits
----------------------

I sleep late. Too late. My day is night and my night is day. Am trying to get my internal clock back in the works before I burn out. I sleep with many pillows, a comforter and two blankies. Meanwhile, I think I don't have enough pillows and I wouldn’t mind another blankie. I like comforters. They work better than quilts. I don't like quilts. I like sleeping in cold cold rooms but I don't like being cold.

--------------------
Driving Habits
--------------------

I like using highways. I drive too fast. Penang and KL aren’t that far apart anymore. I think Malaysia’s shrunk. I love my car. I get touchy when people mess with my car. When you mess with that gorgeous chunk of metal, you mess with me.

----------------------
Reading Habits
----------------------

I read a lot. I don't have time to read. I should read more. Reading gives me my much-needed time-out. I think books are waaaaayyy overpriced. That doesn’t work for me cause I don't like reading softcopy material. I think it's not a real book unless you can hold it in your hands and feel its pages between your fingers.

----------------------
Blogging Habits
----------------------

I don’t blog a lot. No no. Not that much. In fact, I'd say I hardly blog. Yes yes. Hardly.

---------------------
Drinking habits
---------------------

I don’t drink. Alcohol and me don’t mix. I drink a lot of water, though. Only RO or distilled water for me, thank you very much. Therefore, I buy water.

-------------------
Eating Habits
-------------------

I never have breakfast. I am a supper person. I eat a lot but I don't eat enough. I lose weight easily. Too easily.

---------------------
Laundry Habits
---------------------

I love the smell of clean laundry. I like doing my laundry. I think that it's therapeutic. I’m anal when it comes to this – very much so. Plus, I take way too long to iron my clothes. I could never get a job as a maid. I’d be doing laundry all day and not much of anything else.

------------------------------
Music-listening Habits
------------------------------

I listen to many genres of music. What I listen to and when I listen to it depends largely on my mood. Unless it’s to SET the mood. Hmmm… I tend to keep my favourite songs of the moment on Repeat. Oh, I lost a whole bunch of songs when my harddisk gave up on me. =(

---------------------------
Movie-going Habits
---------------------------

I like going to the movies. I don’t make enough time to go to the movies. Am an avid fan of romantic love comedies and “think-hard-and-wait-for-the-twist-at-the-end dramas. Scary movies are just…well, scary. I always bring big bags to movies when they're pre-planned. *snicker*

----------------
Bad Habits
----------------

I frown when I read. I frown when I think. I frown when I muse. I frown a lot. I really need to stop frowning. I should also stop biting ice. Oh, and I never exercise (other than dance).

---------------------
Healthy Habits
---------------------

I like visiting the dentist. Dang. I can’t think of anymore healthy habits.

Well, I guess I’m done with my musing. Overshare kau kau man!

Oh, and I lied. Heh heh.

I didn’t think about why I never replied MSN messages. It was a cover-up. The whole introduction was a sham. Haha... That didn’t spur off this post. I just felt like rambling so I did. That’s all. Cheers! =)

Spillover-ed

Looks like last night’s Keith Urban post kept me on a wanna-be-in-love high for all of today as well. Watched A Walk To Remember – AGAIN! Haha. I couldn’t help myself. Auto-play. Not my fault. =p My previous posts were entitled: (1) Someday We’ll Know and (2) A Walk To Remember.

But you know what, the movie got me thinking. A lot of the stuff that Landon (the lead male character) did was deadly romantic. He did the stuff that would drive girls straight into his arms. Sigh. So heart-melting. Protecting her from his animalistic friends, building her a telescope for her to see a comet she was looking forward to seeing, and helping her accomplish the silly, small and almost insignificant things in her Life To-Do List like being in two places at the same time, getting a tattoo and having a star named after her.

But, here comes the problem…

Even while I was watching, I began to think to myself – would an Asian guy do the same for me? Hmmm… Thing is, Chinese guys aren’t very romantic. They don’t seem that way. At least that’s what I think. I guess they weren’t brought up that way. Or perhaps I haven’t been meeting the right guys. Hmmm…

Come on, how many would actually ask his mama to teach him how to dance just so that he can dance with his girl on a balcony? Hardly any, I can tell you that. And how many would go up to a girl’s father and ask for his permission to ask the girl of his dreams out? Also, few, if any. Look, he placed a mini garden of flowers and potted blooms, on her porch to tell her that he’d not leave her in light of her illness (leukaemia), okay. Over here, if you get a bouquet of flowers on Valentine’s or on some kind of anniversary-ish occasion while the guy says he’s deeply in love with you, it’s time to consider yourself lucky.

You guys must see the difference, right? I mean, it’s not just me, right?

Sigh. Girls want to be romanced. Yes yes, we do. It’s just another one of those unexplainable things. Guys should watch this movie and learn, man… Plenty to absorb and study from here, especially when it comes to the Art of Courting & Romancing a Girl. I think if you wanna do it, do it right. After all, you’ll only have a couple of years for this and only one chance of collecting memories of the moments spent during courtship. This movie showed me a man who made every moment count – every moment with the love of his life, because he knew that the seconds were ticking by too quickly and they were already running on borrowed time.

Thing is, why wait till it’s borrowed time to make each moment count? Isn’t EVERY moment spent with the love of your life as important as the next? Time wasted can never be regained. Time spent wisely will always be retained – in the mind (memories) and most importantly, in the heart (yes, the heart remembers, too).

So… Going back to the question at hand and the thought in mind:
– Would an Asian guy do the same for me?

In all honesty, I don’t think so. Somehow or another, “ang mor” guys seem to be more romantic. They have that romantic streak in them that’s shaped with the help of the society they live in; it’s the culture there, I guess. They’ve been thought and now know how to treat a girl right and put her on a pedestal while keeping her in their arms.

Sigh.

I want.

How?

Opposites Attract

Hello World!

Ugh… That really reminded me of this IDTP lecturer I had while I was taking my Diploma… Haha… I can’t even remember her name… Wonder if she’s still around… Hmmm… I still remember the way she looked though… Haha…

*blinks*

Ugh…

*scrapes tongue to remove bad taste in mouth*

Okay okay… Today’s notes are notes with a mission… I want to break mindsets! I want to change worldviews! I want to revolutionize notions the world has grown accustomed to through the help of love stories and romance fictions! The time has come! And the time is NOWWWW!

*blinks*

Sigh… I think I’m beginning to get a little too over-ambitious… Sigh…

*frowns*

Just give me face a bit can bo?

Anyways, thoughts on this topic (Opposites Attract) were sparked off as I was replying a comment after my last post… I realised that when it came to this, I didn't really believe it could work… In fact, I STILL don’t believe it CAN work… I mean, come on… Opposites attract? Impossible!

I’m not talking about shallow opposites like any of the following: -

• Rich vs. Poor
• Good-looking vs. Ugly
• Tall vs. Short
• Fat vs. Thin
• Tanned vs. Fair
• Specky vs. Contact-lensed

No, no… None of these childish comparisons here, thank you very much! What I’m talking about goes way beyond mere numbers on a paycheck and physical attributes… What I’m looking at are opposites that are more than just skin deep… Areas that encompass more “touchy” subjects like faith, beliefs and principles (in the “heavy” sense) as well as habits, likes and dislikes (on a lighter note)… These are things that I don’t entirely believe on compromising upon finding a partner… These are what make us US in the first place… The only time change of such should come is when it’s change for the better…

In short, if our potential partner were to want us to change, I think it just means that they’ve never loved us for who we are in the first place… Think about it… If I marry a guy who has bad taste in clothing and seek to change him (and his taste and sense of style), doesn’t that mean that I was never proud of ALL of him in the first place? Sure, you guys may think this sounds really shallow, but to many people, a good sense of dressing is important okayyy… Go check out the seventh comment in my previous post… Haha…

Well, now that we’ve established my take on the attraction of opposites, let’s dive deeper into this with some examples, shall we?

Look at it this way… When it comes to things of such, Love-Hate-patterned relationships rarely work… For instance, I hate smoking and my partner cannot live without a cancer stick every 5-minutes… Or perhaps, I love having children while he hates the thought of ever having any of those pesky rats… Or say, I love God but my partner believes he’s the next the super power of the anti-Christ…

JENNNNGGGGG!

“How la?” I ask you…

Cannot wan lehhh… “Zin nya khang khor”… Every step we take as a couple will be a struggle… And of course, in most cases, it will eventually end in tears, with shredded convictions and ragged personal joys, heavily laced with dark shadows of self-doubt and unbridled denial…

Sigh…

How to explain ah?

*scratching head*

You all understand bo?

Aiyo, crux of the matter is that it is a HUGE risk to take if you step into an Opposites-Attract kind of relationship… Long term sure cannot work wan… Gua-lan-tee! These kind of things only attract us in the Now… Soft-spoken girls fall for bad boys… Intelligent men fall for bimbos… Very hard la… Can you imagine how a conversation between the latter would be like?

--------------------

BIMBO: Honey, my dress nice bo?

INTELLIGENT MAN: How much did that cost?
Which card did you use? Amex is a charge card
and it requires me to pay up every month or the
interest will kill me. Mastercard and Visa would be
more cost efficient. The economy is not looking up.
Because I’m kept in the loop, I know how bad times
can turn out to be in the near future. Let’s be more
efficient in dealing with our bills and expenditure.

BIMBO: Huh? Anyway, my make-up leh? Like or not?

INTELLIGENT MAN: Too much make-up is bad
for your skin. Your epidermis can suffer from the
overdose of chemicals. It’s best to keep it light and
simple so as to reduce the bad effects that may
come with excessive make-up use. Just stick to
sun block so that free radicals don’t cause early
aging and unsightly wrinkles. But dear, you have to
realise make-up was created to generate money.
Capitalists out there seek to make their millions from
the beauty industry. Don’t fall prey to their deceiving
ploys to eat at our savings.

BIMBO: Epi-what ha? What-pitalist? Honey, can
speaking Engerish ah?

--------------------

*blinks*

Cannot larrrr… In the long run, people tire of fighting for relationships of such… If they don't call it quits, they continue walking on eggshells as the days go by, sleep on a bed of nails each night, and eventually start stabbing each other with stakes just to kill the numbing pain… *cringe* I think I'm getting carried away… Anyways, all I'm saying is that it takes more than the mere highs of emotion and the tingling of hormones to keep two people in love… The magnetism and electricity that SUPPOSEDLY courses through the veins of lovers doesn't seem to run in real life… Fairytales lie… They told us big fat juicy lies our innocent young minds simply absorbed… Don't ask why but it seems like being in love isn't as simple as it's cut out to be… If it were, 5 year olds would be happily married with Barbie doll and Power Ranger kids… Haha… Imagine that!

Nah, come on… Love is a much more complex emotion… People search long and hard, high and low, deep and wide for it… They fight for it… Some even die for it… But how many actually understand it? Few…

So tell me, what is it that’s vital in a relationship?

I think it's sustainability.

And for sustainability, what would you need?

Similarities.

Similar interests, similar ideals, similar principles…

Haha… Not that easy to fall in love now, is it?

But I’ll gladly make an exception to the rule… My romantic side returns… Heh heh… Some things never change, eh? You see that silver lining now, don’t you? Haha… It CAN work… But only if the differences you have between the two of you are those that compliment each other… In cases where the things that stand to differentiate the two of you also stand to unite the both of you… Okay okay… I’ll use examples again… Simple simple wan lar… =p

Say I’m terrible at accounts, but he’s good with numbers… Or maybe I’m good with planning and coming up with ideas but I hate the execution part, while he’s good with execution but never wants to plan… See what I’m getting at? This made-up-mister and I would perfectly compliment each other! He’d support me in my areas of weakness and I’d be able to do the same in his areas of weakness…

When you put this together, what do you get?

Perfection.

In conclusion, it’d be best if both of you share a significant number of similarities or at least have differences that compliment each other…

*pauses for a breather*

I think this post is way too long and I’ve started going round in circles… Time to end… Now, turn to your neighbour and say, “It’s quiz time! =p

Do you seek a companion who's opposite or similar to you?

Go on, do it… Haha… It’s short and simple but pretty accurate… One of the simpler quizzes around… I already did it…

Check out my results:

"You probably seek a companion or lover quite similar to yourself. Perhaps it's because you like yourself, and you want that same likeability in your soul mate: a sharing personality who mirrors your best qualities.

There's an old saying, "Opposites attract, but similarities last."

That's a good motto to keep in mind."

Yes, yes… Good motto, indeed! Confirms my stand, huh… Haha… And yes… I like myself… =p

The Call For A Sing-Song-Ing Man

What is it about girls and singer-boys?

I don’t get it…

I know a number of girls who’d love to date (and then marry) a guy who sings… And of course play an instrument to accompany that heart-melting voice… Heh heh… And of course (again), if he composes his own songs, all the better! Demanding too much? =p Come on, who’d complain about a guy who can sing, play an instrument AND write his own music? Nah… Any girl in her right mind would wish for a partner who could (and would) serenade her to the end of her days… Go ahead, la la la away, fly me to the moon and make my day!

I have to admit, I fell prey to two of the above-mentioned swoon-worthy talents just recently… Haha… Jeng jeng jeng… Yes, yes… Tinki was bawled over by some keyboard-playing, singing stranger… Jeng jeng jeng, indeed eh? Doesn’t take a lot to please Tinki, no?

Anyways, before I over share, it’s best I inform and shout out to all of cyberspace, that it wasn’t infatuation of any sort, and neither do I now profess undying love for Mr-I-Can’t-Even-Remember-His-Name… No, no… Pam’s still right in the head… No worries… Haha…

But you know what? When I think about it, I really don’t know what it is about guys who sing and play their own instruments as accompaniment… Honestly, I can’t place where this innate love for having a sing-song-ing man comes from… All I know is that it’s pretty important to me (and many other girls out there)… One doesn’t have to be Malaysian Idol to win the ladies over but the ability to stay in tune and keep time does help heaps… It can be simple things like clapping at 2 and 4, and not at 1 and 3… Or not singing harmony when you know you just can’t…

I’m thinking I’m beginning to sound like I can sing like Christina Aguilera and drum like Zac Hanson… Haha… Nah, I’m pretty far from it… Perhaps a good fight with Britney on one of her off days? Oh, and I drum like a kid on a lolly high… =p Anyways, in short, all I’m saying is that I’m not fantastically gifted but it doesn’t change the fact that I wish that my partner was… Haha… Talk about inequality and over-the-hedge expectations, huh? Haha… But it’s true! I mean, if he’s going to make me cringe each time he opens his mouth, how in the world am I going to survive a lifetime with him? Sounds really shallow, but it isn’t… Not really, anyways…

You see, I believe that being attached and finding your special someone isn’t just about the “falling in love” bit… It doesn’t just stop there… Nope… It’s more than that; it’s deeper than that… There has to be substance to the relationship… It calls for common grounds that you share, similar ideals and complimentary differences that serve to unite the both of you… I believe that music is one of ‘em… I can’t imagine my life without song, tune, beat or sound… You know how they say “Music is Life”? I think they got pretty close to the truth… It is a HUGE part of my life…

*feeling the cheerleader-ish itch*

Music is Life!
For music we survive!
But Jesus is the Way,
The Truth and the Life!

*blinks*

Okay okay… I'm sorry, guys... Got sidetracked a little there
after being hit by a bout of Late Night Lameritis…

Sigh… It really IS pretty late… I think I should be heading off to bed…

*blinks*

Whoa… That rhymed, too!

*frowns*

I really need to stop blabbering on and on here… It's waaayyyy to late for that… I wish someone would sing me to sleep… I know I’d like that… Sigh… Oh well… iTunes will have to do… For now…

p/s: Ooo… Do click on the iTunes logo! It's weally pwetty… =p

Before I go, and before you guys hit me back with