Tinki Talks

Silent Library

As promised!

*ahem*

Tinki is a woman of her word, okayyy.

This, my friends, is really cool. I laughed my head off the first time I watched and my head went a-rollin' a second time round when I watched it again – this time to verify that these are the right clips. Silent Library's SUPER FUNNY!

Note: There have been many copy-cat silent libraries around but the Japanese Game Show versions are the originals. They're funnier, too. Dunno why also. Perhaps it's more Asian. I don't know. Whatever. Most of the guys from the same team that appeared in my previous post, entitled Ten Ten Ten-Ten! Those guys? Hah. Nuff said.

HAHA.

*clears throat, pats blazer, fluffs hair*

And now, without any further delay,
I present you the Japanese Game Show:

Silent Library!

That was just ONE episode.
The rest are a bundle of laughs, too,
but this one was one of my favourites.
Haha.

Anyways, the following are two clips,
with the second being the continuation
from the one before it. Enjoy!

Silent Library (Part 1 of 2) – Gaki No Tsukai

…and continued from above…

Silent Library (Part 2 of 2) – Gaki No Tsukai

HAHA. HAHA. HAHA. HAHA. HAHA.

*crawls back onto chair
while holding tummy with one hand
and wiping tears with another*

Tinki's Rollercoaster Rules

Rollercoasters are fun…

…most of the time.

Haha. Okay, fine. I admit it. I like rides. I do, I do. Most of the time. But I've been thinking. Those "persons-under-4ft-are-not-permitted-on-this-ride" rules aren't enough. Come on. We all know it. Some of those things aren't as safe as they appear to be, okay! Plus, they seem to let any Abu-Ali-and-Ahmad on these days.

Well, I've taken the liberty to add a couple of "rules" to the list. You see, critical me believes that things aren't as simplistic as they seem. There are a few things to look out for before boarding one of these giant, super-power machines – a few "rules" (if I may say so) that one should always always follow to increase the enjoyment, double the thrill and heighten the pleasure that comes from riding these babies at neck-breaking speeds.

*snicker*

Enjoy!

-------------------------------------
Tinki's Rollercoaster Rules
-------------------------------------

1) Always wear your slippers and keep your glasses on.

…People love it when they get to catch flying stuff as they walk. Free stuff (especially when it’s expensive) is always appreciated even if people get hit on the head or get knocked unconscious along the way. They'll think it's worth it. It’s like bonus hour every hour! Who cares if people don’t know what to do with the stuff they catch? That’s their problem.

2) Always leave your coins and valuables in your pockets.

…Charity is charity no matter where you are. Plus, at carnivals, we ALWAYS respect the privacy of our donors. In fact, we’re so strict and particular about this that we don’t even provide receipts so that there’s no evidence whatsoever. Heck, donor's names are kept so anonymous that even we don't know who they are. Aren’t we thoughtful?

3) Carry handbags without zippers.

…It gives our resident pick-pocket-iers something to do in their spare time. Hey, you’re keeping someone off the streets. Think of it as your good deed of the day.

4) Never tie your hair.

…It’s helps you achieve that out-of-bed look without the need to purchase hundreds worth of hairstyling products that dry your hair and kill its texture. It’s become so popular that we’ve already registered the name – The Out-of-RIDE Look. Some people’s partners have mentioned that they even think it’s sexy. We don't care. Whatever floats their boat.

5) Pee in your pants if the ride gets too scary.

…It helps us warm the seat for the person coming after you. Plus, the added “rain effect” with help with the haze situation we’re currently facing. No need for the government to utilize complex processes like cloud seeding for weather modification. We believe in being proactive Malaysian residents by helping out in the event of a national crisis. In fact, while you pee in fear, don’t shout. SING! Perhaps the Negaraku? We heard it helps.

p/s: Lyric sheet available at entrance upon request.

6) Take large meals and gassy drinks before boarding ride.

…We apologise for not having people sell popcorn or ice cream in our premise. We tried bringing them in but they kept going bankrupt. As such, do stuff your faces before boarding our up-down-fast-fast-turn-round-round rides. Your gag may help feed others “down-below” who forgot their meals before riding. “Recyyyycle, that’s what you do! Recyyyycle, yes it’s true! Recyyyycle, la la la (forgot the lyrics; only have lyric sheets for the Negaraku), don't let it go to wasteeee!” RTM has thought us well.

7) Chew gum while on rides.

…This technique helps when you want to avoid appearing sissy while on rides. Once it gets lodged in your throat mid-ride, you won’t even be thinking of the height or the speed. A good way to take your mind off your fears (speed and height) is by replacing those fears with other fears (choking to death).

8) Wear skirts (especially short ones).

…It’s always nice when there are extra things for your fellow riders to see. Sometimes when rides get too fast, things tend to get blurry. Therefore, we’ll need to have some free-shows-mid-air to keep their interest while on the rides. It also helps those with movement-sickness to keep their mind off the thought of vomiting. Plus, hey, you get to play Marilyn Monroe for the night. What an honour.

9) Turn towards the people around you when you scream.

…It helps drown out our bad carnival music. Plus, if you do it well enough the first time, the effects would last till they finish our other rides. Just try not to deafen them permanently, okay. Also, make sure your mouth is wide open when you scream. Who knows? You may be turning towards a dentist-in-the-making who’d be able to give you a couple of handy tips in mouth-care. If you really want people to take notice, have a couple of cloves of garlic. It’d help heaps. Those small bulbs work wonders, you know. Oh yeah. If the people sitting around are bored at any one time during the ride, you’d also be entertaining them. They’d get to count the fillings in your molars.

10) Always read list of rules before boarding ride.

…You never know what you’d learn. Need I say more?

*grin*

With this ends my post.

p/s: The Euro Fun Park is here again! Head towards 1-Utama's open air carpark facing the New Wing and you’ll see it. It’s not something you’d be able to miss even if you tried. Go. It rocks big time.

Ten Ten Ten-Ten!

Go ahead. Watch it.

Oh, but before you do, remember, it always goes: ten ten ten-ten!

*grin*

GOTCHA!!!

Hah! You guys thought this was another one of those Shir-Vid Fever posts leh. Haha. Nopes. Not quite.

*blinks*

Actually, not at all.

*snicker*

I laughed my butt off when I watched it from a friend's Friendster profile. Three sections: (1) English reading competency, (2) Counting from 1 to 100 in English, and (3) Naming the days of the week in English. All sections were funny. Really. Tough fight. Even so, the ten-ten part was the one I laughed at hardest, though. Haha. Wasn't expecting that. So did not see that coming. Haha. Ten-Ten. And that face! Wahahaha. Beh tahan nia. Hahahaha.

*takes deep yoga-styled-head-clearing-laughter-stopping breath*

*exhales slowly*

Ten ten.

HAHAHA…

*gasping for breath*

I can't help it. Haha. Leave me and let me roll on the floor. Haha. It's okay. Haha. You go ahead and roll on yours. Haha.

Ten ten, indeed!

p/s: Oh, and of course…
Cheers to the happy couple!
Woot woot!

And only for the both of you: -

*clears throat*

TEN TEN TEN-TEN!

*grin*

Mwah!

Nokia's Latest Camera Phone!!!

It’s finally in the market! Check this out, man!

Nokia just launched its latest, most advanced, uber-beauty of a camera phone! This, my friends, is technology at its peak… No fight…

*salivating*

Also, it comes in stylish black with silver trimmings… Keypad lights up very nicely… Lens is protected by raised edges… I’d say this model managed to capture the classic look… The type that lasts for generations to come… You know? Like the Nokia 8850…

Memories coming back leh…

*sigh*

What a beauty…

And the best part is that it’s reasonably priced! Really! In fact, I’d say it’s pretty cheap compared to the other models up for sale in the market… It’s a really good buy especially considering what it’s capable of doing – SMS, regular call capabilities, takes GOOD pics (good enough to be printed, man), and all that other la-di-da you’d expect from a camera phone of such standard… Super worth every Sen spent! Haha… How come it sounds less classy when it’s “Sen” and not “Cent”? Hmmm…

Anyways, I didn’t wanna spoil your fun so I decided to increase the suspense by asking you to click on this teeny tiny icon below in order to view Nokia’s latest camera phone in all its glory… Go ahead… Click it! Click it!

Click on the icon above to view Nokia’s latest camera phone

Good bo?

*grin*

Barbaric BOYS? =p

This post comes hot on the heels of my previous post: Barbaric Girls… Read that before you go on to this or it won’t really make any sense… You’d be blur… Unless, of course, you’ve watched the clip of the schoolgirls fighting in Miri that was being passed around via the Internet, Bluetooth and MMS a few months ago la… Anyways, as I told Ming that I would in one of my comments for “Barbaric Girls”, I’m posting up the link to Kenny Sia’s version of the catfight in Miri… Really hilarious stuff man… Laughed my butt off while I was watching it… Funny, funny, funny!

Look out for the ultimate bully weapon – "The Hammer of Terror"… JENG! Heh…

Oh, and did I mention it’s funny?

*BIG GRIN*

Now, go click and laugh…

Click Here For Kenny Sia’s Version of “The Fight"

8 Most Annoying Alarm Clocks

I have decided that Copywriting is no longer my thing… In fact, I am now considering the possibilities of becoming a creator of new things! An architect of the mind! The father (mother, actually) of devices yet to be known to men!

An INVENTOR!

*ahem*

Of what, you say? As of now, I am focusing my efforts on ingeniously designing super-duper high-tech alarm clocks… Yes, yes… A genius; that, I am…

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The Kaboom
------------------

Not much different from regular alarm clocks of today, this grenade “rings” at a specified time with a super-duper-ultra-loud-uber-explosion. Guaranteed to wake even the best of sleepers. You no longer need 10 sissy alarm clocks. Just one.

Disclaimer: Not suitable for pregnant women or for the faint-hearted.

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The Siren
--------------

Fitted with a vibrator, 95dB alarm system and police-style rotating lights. You have the option of having the regular blue and red lights, or any combination of the following – pink, green, yellow, purple and white. Also, should you opt to increase the dB level of the alarm, we can do it for you upon your request. We, however, suggest that you keep it below 140dB.

Disclaimer: The Company shall not be held responsible for any deafness caused from use of The Siren.

----------------
The Puzzle
----------------

This alarm requires you to fix a puzzle before its ringing stops. The perfect alarm clock for those who are a tad “slow” during the early hours of the day. Best used before an important presentation to boost brainpower and alertness. If the 4-piece puzzle becomes too simple, come in for an upgrade at minimal cost. Advanced level alarm clock comes with a 10,000-piece puzzle to solve.

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The Chicken & Egg Problem
---------------------------------------

This alarm clock comes in the shape of a hen. Upon ringing, it lays small smooth eggs. You’ve got to be quick or the eggs will roll away. This clock is wired to only quieten down after all eggs are returned to the egg chamber.

Disclaimer: Not good for contact lens wearers who cannot see small objects without their lenses, or those with long-sightedness.

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The Pinhead
------------------

You’ll need to find the right pin to stop its ringing. Should this turn out to be too easy a fit, you may up the stakes by increasing the difficulty level (knob found at the back). “Missions” depict difficulty levels.

Mission 1 – Find ONE pinhead and press.

Mission 2 – Find TWO pinheads and press in the right order.

Mission 3, Mission 4, Mission 5, etc…

And finally, The Final Mission – Find ALL pinheads and press in the right order.

-----------------
The Climber
-----------------

It hangs above your head and upon ringing, it begins to climb. A chord on the inside is pulled in a centimetre every second and if you’re not quick, you’ll need a ladder to shut it off. We’d advice this clock for air-conditioned rooms or rooms without ceiling fans above the bed only.

---------------------------------
The Hide & Seek Buddy
---------------------------------

Once it starts to ring, its wheels rotate and cause it to fall to the floor to make its rounds around the room, and cleverly finding a place to hide. Get up from bed and down on your hands and knees. Chase it down or you’ll be doomed. The Hide & Seek buddy comes in many colours. For best results find one that matches your flooring.

Disclaimer: Not suitable for those with arthritis.

------------------------
The Float Around
------------------------

Upon ringing, its propellers rotate and cause it to levitate. Catch it before it flies too far. An ingenious invention that pulls in the same technology used to steer aircrafts, The Float Around is able to navigate around ceiling fans and light fixtures.

Disclaimer: The Company shall not be held responsible for any broken limbs or decapitations that may come from chasing The Float Around.

* Please note that The Company only entertains bulk buying and will not be held responsible for any accidents or mishaps that may arise from the use of alarm clocks sold…

Leave Application Letters From India

This is super funny... Haha... Deleted the lamer ones already... These aren't so bad... Check em out! A collection of leave application letters written by people at various places in India…

1. An employee applied for leave as follows: – Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.

… I hate it when people sell their wives… =p

2. From an employee whose daughter was getting married: – As I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.

… INCESTUOUS!!!

3. From an employee whose mother-in-law passed away: – As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave.

… Humans have expiry dates… But if you notice dents on our tins, please put us back on the shelves and choose another one… =p

4. Another employee applied for half-day leave as follows: – Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave.

… Haha… Terbakar sama…

5. From an employee who had fever: – I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday.

… I am suffering from laziness… I don’t think I’m alone in this… Please declare one-week holiday for Malaysia… Thank you…

6. From a student with a headache to the headmaster: – As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today.

… Ooo… I can relate to this one… Haha… Certain schools just have the headache vibe…

7. Informing the receiver of an attachment: – I am enclosed herewith…

… Dangerous territory here man… Tercakap salah to the wrong person, kantui terus!

8. In a formal letter: – Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below...

… HAHA! Enough said…

9. From an employee whose wife had taken ill: – My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave.

… Mmm hmm… Husband #7 is on duty today… Please look for him…

10. In a friendly letter: – I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well.

… Shall we take a swim? You up for a million laps? =p

11. A candidate writing in for a job: – This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post.

… Uh oh… Jeng!!!

Singaporeans and SIA

Singlish, like Manglish, is a totally independent language... It's English, yeah... But it's in a totally different class of it's own... We speaking the same language but we no understands... Haha... It amuses those who do not naturally converse in it and it does take awhile to learn the placing of the "SIAs", and the "MEHs", and the "LOs", and the "AHs"... Cannot simply put wan ah! Singaporeans have some sort of a Degree in it... They are offered a programme whereby they graduate with a Bachelor of Singlish... If they do reallly really well, they get a Bachelor of Singlish (Hons.)... =p Well, Singaporeans say "sia" all the time... We, Malaysians, don't... Check out my previous post entitled – "Dan Brown hen POWER de leh!" so that you're not lost...

This was the conversation that transpired between two buddies (Buddie 1 = Budak Curley; Buddie 2 = Budak Botak): -

Buddie 1 : Eh, buddie! He talking wat SIA?

Buddie 2 : Dunno la… Very blur already… Ta Jiang Jesus Bu Shi God, Zi Shi man…

Buddie 1 : Shi meh? Jesus Bu Shi God meh?

Buddie 2 : Aiya… Tell you ah… Zhi Ge Dan Brown Hor, Hen “power” De Wo… Maybe Shi Zhen De leh?

Buddie 1 : No lo… Zhen De Shi Zhen De, Jia De Shi Jia De… Believe in wrong thing, Jiu Wan ler…

Buddie 2 : Huh? Wei She Mo?

Buddie 1 : Ok ok… Ni Kan ah… If you think 1 + 1 = 3, then how?

Buddie 2 : Teacher mark you wrong lor! Chi Yan fail lor! Mother scold lor! Friends laugh lor…

Buddie 1 : Ok ok ok… So…

Together : Truth is truth, false is false… Believe in false and you’ll be gone… Jesus is Lord, born as man… Died for us and rose again… Hey!

Others : Shhh!

And for the punch line... My purpose for posting... In the exact words that were said to me, "Must be some patriotism to Singapore Airlines or something..."

This is your cue... Laugh, folks... Laugh...

Dan Brown hen POWER de leh!

This is really, really funny... Had been meaning to post this for awhile now but just never got to it... 真的很POWER的叻! (I.e. Zhen de hen “power” de leh!) Haha... Enjoy!

CLICK HERE for The DaVinci Code Movie Premiere

p/s: I prefer the Singlish Version better... =p

World Cup's No Good for Women

*chuckle*

This is really funny... I'm APPALLED, of course... But I couldn't resist posting this... Haha... It really IS funny...

*chuckles again*

Dear Wife / Partner / Girlfriend / Significant Other,

1. From June 9 to July 9, 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper daily so that you are well aware of what’s going on regarding the World Cup. This is so that you will be able to join any conversations that are bound to take place. If you fail to do this, you will be looked at with disdain or alternatively, you will totally be ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

2. During the World Cup, the television is mine – MINE, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even catch a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

3. If you really have to pass in front of the TV during a game, I don’t mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me, or worse, blocking my view. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV in a desperate act to get my attention, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I won’t have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell on the floor… It won’t happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least two six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things for me to nibble on. And please do not make funny faces at my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12pm and 6pm, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please! If you see me upset because the team I support is in the midst losing, DO NOT say “Get over it, it’s only a game”, or “Don’t worry, they’ll win next time”. If you say these things, you will only make me fume and get angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so-called “words of encouragement” will only lead to a break-up.

7. You are welcomed to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during half-time but only when commercials are on, and only if the half-time score pleases me. In addition, please note I am saying “ONE” game; hence, do not use the World Cup as an excuse to “spend quality time together”.

8. The replays of the goals are VERY important. I don’t care if I have seen them before or I haven’t seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any baby-, or any other child-related parties or gatherings that will require my attendance because:
• I will not go,
• I will not go, and
• I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights shown on TV every night are just as important as the actual games. Do not even think about saying “but you have already seen this... why don’t you change the channel to something we can all watch together?” because, the reply will be “Refer to Rule #2 of this list.”

12. And, finally, please save expressions such as “Thank God the World Cup is only every four years”. I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League Premier League, FA Cup, etc…

Thank you for your cooperation.

Regards,
Men of The World

Too Free

This is really for those of you who have nothing better to do with your lives... I bet it was one of your kind who came up with this anyways... Haha... Go ahead... Enjoy...

DON'T CLICK HERE!

Dear Ricky...

A marine stationed in Afghanistan recently received a Dear John letter from his girlfriend back home. It reads as follows:

Dear Ricky,

I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.

Love, Becky

The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins etc... In addition to the pictures of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty girls he had collected from his buddies. There were 57 photos in that envelope... along with this note:

Dear Becky,

I'm sorry, but I can't quite remember who the hell you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me...

Take care, Ricky

Now that's a smart "smarting" man right there for ya! (All the pun in the world intended) =)

Laughs...

This post is dedicated to my dearest housemate - Ms Felicia Boo... =)

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While doing assignments at the wee hours of dawn (5.45 am) a few days back, Fur and I had this conversation:-

Fur: Eh, wanna print di...
Pam: Oh ok... Go take the printer from my room lo...
Fur: Ok ok...

*Fur runs upstairs to get the printer*

A few minutes later...

Fur: Eh pam ah! *shouts from upstairs* The "chak thao" (a.k.a plug) wanna bring down or not?
Pam: *stunned silence* No, no, no... My printer use battery wan... =)

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While getting ready for girl's night out yesterday, Fur burst into my room wanting to borrow nail polish remover... The following conversation ensued:-

Fur: Wei! Can borrow nail remover ar?
Pam: *another round of stunned silence* What for? I pull ma come out eh di lo! =p

p/s: Nisha laughed like hell... =)

In the words of Ms Nisha Bai - Fur, we still love you... *grins*