Tinki Talks

Pickled To Perfection

Hey you,

I thought of you today. Sigh. It feels like it's been so long since I've done so. I'm sorry. I want you to know that I've missed you. I've missed you a lot. I hope you've missed me, too.

Well, I'm all grown up now, you know. Uh, kinda. I'll be working real soon! Though I know that no matter what, I'll always be little in your eyes – just PamPam to you. But then, you're not here to see it all, are you? No. Sigh. I still wish that you could have been there. During my graduation. I wish that you could have seen it. It wasn't a very happy day for me… But if you were there, perhaps it'd have been different.

There are so many things that are coming and I sure wish you can be there to witness it all. You know? Stuff like getting my first paycheck, my wedding, the birth of my first child, and the second and third and fourth. Haha. Nah. Just two for me, thank you. =p But then, I'm sure you'd still be happy with two. And you'd have so spoilt them rotten. I'm sure they'd love you to bits. They would if they had the chance to.

When I think of you, I just want to turn back time and go back to those PamPam days when life was good. YOU made life good. I long for those days, you know. I did, and I still do. I wish I'd have told you then about how I felt. Well, I'm telling you now. I hope you're listening. I know we never spoke of mushy things of such. It made you uncomfortable but I'm guessing you knew. I'm hoping you knew.

• I miss those times we spent together.

• I miss those silent moments we used to share.

• I miss the way you recorded my favorite dramas and cartoons for me.

• I miss the way you used to pat me to sleep and re-pat me to sleep each time I moved a muscle.

• I miss the times we sneaked around behind Mummy's back.

• I miss the times you brought me to the movies.

• I miss the bike-rides in the rain.

• I miss the choose-your-own-birthday-gift tradition we used to have.

• I miss the times we sat on the swing waiting.

• I miss the way you religiously folded your newspaper daily and stacked them up.

• I miss hearing code numbers only you and I understood – "second row, third one."

• I miss the secret angpow packets the others knew nothing about.

• I miss the PamPam-styled food you'd let me eat.

• I miss the lunches in bed in front of the telly.

• I miss the weekly McDonald's meals.

• I miss the way you used to banjir my dinner with soup.

• I miss the times you stole rambutans for me.

• I miss the sugarcane cubes you used to painstakingly "massacre" just for me.

• I miss the guava you always prepared that were pickled to perfection each and every time.

I don't understand how things changed so quickly for us. Time flew by too swiftly and somehow or another, growing-up took me on a different path – one that I saw very little of you. I wish it didn't. I know you'd have loved to have been wherever I was. But… oh well. I'll see you again, won't I? I can't wait. Hang in there, okay. Wait till I get there.

I miss you.

Love,
Your PamPam

My Love Quote (Apparently)

What Love Quote Suits You?

Your Love Quote

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.

*coughs*

It's "WHICH" actually.

*coughs again*

Yeah yeah, so I was bored. So what? Wasted a little time. So what? Did me a couple of quizzes. So what? Go ahead. Sue me. I'm in such a rotten mood lately that I probably wouldn't even give two-hoots about what you think anyways.

*blinks*

Wow. Don't be hatin' me, alright. Just feelin' a little foul around the edges. What was this post about again? Love quotes, was it? Yeah yeah. You feelin' the love? Nah, I'm thinkin' not so much. Not right now. Bleh. Okay, fine. I'll try to focus (and be nice while I'm at it).

"Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired."

Cheh. Will you just look at that! What happend to being original, man?! This is what I call "quote piracy". Them fancy folks call it "plagiarism", a.k.a "text-ing without including the proper (and very necessary) citation".

HEY! It's by ROBERT FROST, okayyy!
So difficult to write a two-word name meh?!
Sheesh…

*blinks*

I so need to get rid of the wrath within. I can't even
publish a proper post properly. (No pun intended.)

*flexes arm muscles, cracks knuckles, stretches legs, clears throat*

Honestly, I have to say that I disagree with this one. This is a super-duper-kau-lat-selfish quote. Come on, man. It'd be very selfish to think of love this way. Why? Cos it's only taken from a very selfish viewpoint – the receiving end. How shallow. Not much love in only wanting to receive love and not give any, no? If all I want is to get, then where's the love in that? It's non-existent. Zilch. Nada.

So perhaps it should have gone this way:
"Love is an irresistible desire to irresistibly desire."

Hmmm. No, that doesn't really work either. If it were this way, then it'd be just about giving while expecting nothing in return. Yes yes, I know that's what people SAY it should be about. All that you-can't-love-without-giving babble. But really now. Think about it. Would any of you really want to be in a relationship that offers you nothing and drains every bit of you every day that you're together with your partner? Well, I for one wouldn't desire such a relationship. It's tiring to upkeep such life-sucking relationships. Unfilled love tanks are a sad sight to behold, you know? They walk around like empty shells. Not a pretty sight. No no.

Love is all about two-way traffic, my friends. Both, giving (without having to be asked to) and receiving (without even having to expect it) are equally as important. If both are offered and accepted simultaneously by both parties, it opens the window for the concept of equilibrium to exist in the aspect of L&R. (Yes, I took Economics, too.) Should an equilibrium point exist, both demand and supply (opposing forces) of love are matched and successfully balanced. And of course, equilibrium brings with it a certain calm and stability that attaches itself to the relationship. Not that things get boring, but a point where both parties are being satisfied with their intake and outflow of love, as well as interest and investment in the relationship.

Aih, let's not get too technical with this. It's simple, really. Whatever it is, it all boils down to two-way traffic. it either goes both ways or no way at all. So, I'll be kiasu. I'd very much prefer it if the quote went this way instead:

"Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired,
and an irresistible desire to irresistibly desire."

So very the super-duper-kau-lat-kiasu.

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Tinki's Tongue Twister of The Day
-----------------------------------------------

Say the words, "Publish a proper post properly."

Did that? Now, repeat the sentence over and over again.

How well did you do? I didn't make it past 3 times. Dang.

Thinkin' Too Much?

Received some disturbing news today. Been thinking a lot about thinking about nothing for it eases some of the stress that comes from thinking and significantly lightens the load. (Yes, self deception and all that other yada-yada actually works.)

Sighs.

Well, decided to get back to doing online quizzes. It's been awhile. Well,
talk about in-your-face-cannot-ignore-anymore results. Bleh. Look…

Your Brain's Pattern

Your mind is a multi-dimensional wonderland with many layers. You're the type that always has multiple streams of thought going, and you can keep these thoughts going at any time. You're very likely to be engaged in deep thought and deep conversation.

Great. Just great. Simply fantastic. Just perfect. Grrr. How ironic that this be so. Ugh. Gimmie a break, man. And fine. If not for me, at least for my poor, overworked and very tired brain. My brain and I would be eternally grateful. Thank you for your kind consideration.

Sigh.

If you're interested in doing this quiz, here it is.
What Pattern Is Your Brain?
Go knock yourselves out.

Sigh.

Hmmm. Perhaps I DO think too much sometimes. And perhaps I SHOULD lighten up a little. You know? Cut my so-called "multi-dimentional" brain some slack. But then again, perhaps it's a good thing. Hmmm. Nah. Probably not. Not when there are too many thoughts running in parallel succession in this head of mine. Aarrrrgh! Just stop.

The Potter's Hand

Artist: Darlene Zschech
Song Title: The Potter's Hand

Beautiful Lord, wonderful Saviour
I know for sure, all of my days are
Held in Your hands, crafted into
Your perfect plan

You gently call me, into Your presence
Guiding me by, Your Holy Spirit
Teach me, dear Lord, to live all of my life
Through Your eyes

I'm captured by, Your Holy calling
Set me apart, I know You're drawing me to Yourself
Lead me, Lord, I pray

[CHORUS]
Take me, mould me, use me, fill me
I give my life to the Potter's hand
Hold me, guide me, lead me, walk beside me
I give my life to the Potter's hand

Sure, it's an old song. Nevertheless, it's a really beautiful song befitting of a beautiful Lord and Saviour. Thing was, an amazing thing happened today. (Amazing to me, at least.) I heard the instrumental version of this song right smack in the middle of Parkson Grand, Gurney Plaza! Ain't that simply fab!? Wow.

SIgh. This brings to mind the few times I heard gospel tracks on the radio. Way, way, waaaay back, of course. Not in recent years. Hmmm. Can't remember the song titles now but I'm very sure that they were aired. If I'm not mistaken, one was an Altered Frequency song while the other was by Steven Curtis Chapman. Wonder who's next and when it'll be.

I really can't wait for the day when we are given the freedom to blast Christian music (lyrics included) in shopping centers and when radio stations are free to play good Christian tunes over the airwaves. In this case, Christmas songs don't count.

Praying for the day,
Tinki – peace out.

Eragon Soundtrack

Yeeeeeessss!

After searching long and hard,
far and wide in good ol' Cyberspace
for the torrent, I finally found it!
All hail torrentspy.com!

Officially released on the 12th of December 2006, this is an album I've been anticipating ever since I caught news of its release date. Thing was, I never found the torrent till today. (No, I don't buy original CDs anymore and yes, I shamelessly torrent.) See only instantly download, man. Haha. Super kiasu. Well, now I hereby proclaim to the world that I have it – all 16 songs from "Music From The Motion Picture Eragon"! Whoopie for me!

*does a little dance*

This is a way brilliant film score by renowned composer, Patrick Doyle. Somewhat different from the other soundtracks of recent days, it sets itself apart from a lot of the competition with the presence of actual melodies. Kinda reminds me of John Barry's Out Of Africa and Dances With Wolves. That's another good composer right there. Haha. Well, this time round, it's Patrick Doyle for you! Hah!

"Music From The Motion Picture Eragon" brings with it old-fashioned, high-adventure tracks highlighted by a hoast uplifting notes – the kind that keeps you on an I'm-on-top-of-the-world-and-I-know-I-will-triumph high. At the same time, it's got an I-know-that-I'll-never-have-to-go-through-tough-times-alone buzz to it. Very uplifting indeed. I like! Of course, together with the album comes Avril Lavigne's Keep Holding On, and a track I have yet to post entitled: Once In Every Lifetime, by Jem. Will tell you guys more about the latter when I do get around to posting it. =)

Ahem. Anyways, as always, when I find good music, you guys get to reap the benefits. Lucky lucky you. It took me a long, Long, LONG time to get all the song files resized (they came in a whopping 320 kbps – kia si lang) and uploaded (stupid site was lagging) so, here ya go – "Music From The Motion Picture Eragon", the complete soundtrack. Enjoy.

p/s: Something's off with the site so the songs are not in the correct order in the playlist.
Nevertheless, all songs are there and I've numbered them for your convenience.

-------------------

[ Click Here To Download Torrent ]

Fancy Food?

People sure do weird stuff to food these days.

Wordplay With "A Li'l Inspiration"

I have this friend (that I have yet to meet in person) who (apparently) inspires me to be a better, more creative (and very much lamer) writer. When we chat, I find that I come up with the most ridiculous ideas and statements. In fact, they're so incredibly silly (it's a nicer word to use as opposed to "lame") that I felt compelled to share them with you. Such idiocies should never be put to waste, neither should they ever be forgotten. I will look back on tonight and laugh – long, hard and loud. Haha. Tonight, it were these two cases that cracked me up. They cracked me up kau kau. =p

SITUATION: She read my last post
and asked why I approached 2007
as though it was some Secret Agent that
I couldn't wait to kill, mangle and decapitate.

ANSWER: Simply because 2007 is not one,
but TWO Double-07 (007) Agents!

*snicker*

Quite a good save on my part, no?
Don't cha think? Haha. Yes yes, smooooth.

And then there was Part 2. JENG!
Aha! The story intensifies as we move along.

She's stuck somewhere with some stranger by her side who was having a ball of a time farting beside her like nobody's business. Yuck! Disgusting to the max! *skin crawls* So, thing was, we pushed the thought aside, moved on and spoke about other things – the birds and the bees, the sun and the sky, the moon and the stars, and all that jazz. Then we spoke of "Talk versus Action". Uh oh. Bad move. Haha. See, the equation quickly became as such: -

[Stranger neighbour who farts] + ["Talk vs. Action"]

= [Tinki's brain searches for words to describe
"Talk vs. Action" based on the available scenario]

Haha. Well, my brain came up with this: -

"Action's the shit, but talk's just all fart."

*blink blink*

Say what?!? Haha.

*laughs head off*

Brilliant, no? I amaze myself. The human mind is a freaky thing. Haha. But true ma. Think about it! Come on, you have to admit that I made perfect sense in the sickest (and lamest) way possible! Haha. Ain't copywriting cool? It's amazing what a little bit of wordplay can bring forth. Double meanings galore! She now calls herself my very own Li'l (Midnight) Inspiration. Haha. Rigggghht.

So, how'd I rate on the Lame-o-meter?

Miss You Like Christmas

Artist: LeAnn Rimes
Song Title: Miss You Like Christmas

How long has it been
Can't remember when
Yeah, it's been awhile
Years look good on you
But I expect them to
I sure missed that smile

Look you got me grinning
Bet I'm blushing too
Don't have to be a genius
To see the honest truth

[CHORUS]
I miss you like Christmas, baby
That's just how it's been
There's that kind of message
Like we were back when
Sure I've gone on since you, baby
Lost my heart a time or two
I miss you like Christmas, baby
That's it, I just do

The leaves begin to change
The first frost is back again
All the cards and pumpkin pie
Jingle Bells and Silent Night
And an all familiar end I can't deny

[CHORUS]
I miss you like Christmas, baby
That's just how it's been
There's that kind of message
Like we were back when
Sure I've gone on since you, baby
Lost my heart a time or two
I miss you like Christmas, baby
That's it, I just do

Ooh, I miss you like Christmas, baby
That's it, ooh, I just do

Lulled to bed by LeAnn's voice the many lonely nights before Christmas '05, I hold this song very close to my heart. Sigh. Last Christmas was a difficult one to pass. But someway, somehow, by the grace of God, I made it through 2005. Well, that year has come and gone – bringing with it the memories, sorrows and hurts that had accumulated along the way. Time flew by and before I knew it, a brand new 2006 came along, surprising me with new things in store, new experiences to cherish, new revelations to fathom, new understandings to unveil, new knowledge to discover, and… new people to enrich my life.

Well, today, I stand at the brink of 2006. This Christmas, just like the rest of 2006, feels somewhat different. I don't know why. It just does. Perhaps it's because loneliness is no longer a factor. Perhaps it's because I'm home this Christmas, surrounded by family and familiar faces. Perhaps it's because I finally found a spiritual family in CHC that I can call my own and who call me their own. Perhaps it's because I've stopped looking around at who others have to hold in their arms and started looking at who's holding me in theirs.

2007 is just a week away and I'm already getting the jitters. I wonder what's to come. What will this new year bring? Am I ready for all that's heading my way? Am I prepared to face what I'm about to face? I'm excited. But, I'm also scared. I'm very much afraid of what lies ahead. I don't know if I'm ready – if I'm ready what's in store. Well, it's still 2006. Sure, it's coming to a close. But when 2007 finally hits the shores, I know I'll be ready. I have to be. And I will be. So bring in the funky music, turn up the heat, and let the good times roll. 2007, I'll stare you in the eyes and face you head-on.

Well, 2007 hasn't yet come and so, I'll checkmate it when the time is right. For now, I'll just be thankful for the very wonderful and fulfilling 2006 and all the goodness that it's brought my way. Even so, some days just bring back memories of people whom we've had the opportunity to cross paths with, pass days with… people we've had the chance to share a measure of our lives with. Days such as these bring us back to those Some Days when those people use to matter. Well, 2007 will be a new year. It'll be a good year. I believe it will. I know it will.

Christmas Struck

Christmas is finally heeeere! Yay!

"On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
fiveeee goldeeeeen riiiiiiiinnnnngs!"

After a whole 12 months of waiting, after 12 months of jingle-less living, after 12 months being devoid of all Christmas cheer, it's finally back! Woo hoo! And it's back way better than before! This year, I have Mid Valley Megamall to thank for returning me my Christmas buzz.

"Hark the herald angels sing, glory to the new born kiiiiinnngg!"

I have to admit, due to the fact that my trusty external hard disk has been out of commission lately, my Christmas spirit has taken a longer time to "install" itself. But, thanks to the very-heavily-decorated Mid Valley Megamall, it's back! So pretty, I tell you. It's a land of lollies and gingerbread houses there. It's pretty, pretty, pretty and a whole lot of fun, fun, fun! Wheee! Haha.

"Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the waaaay!"

I've just got this thing about Christmas songs. I listen to Christmas songs all year round, actually. Haha. Yes, I do that. So sue me. Why put good music to waste just because it's not "the right time" to play it? Bleh. There ain't no "right time" for Christmas tunes, okay. Everyday's Christmas. =)

"But as long as you love me soooo,
Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snnnooooow!"

I received my first Christmas gift a week or two ago, a second about a week ago, and I got my third just yesterday! Nice! I love Christmas, alright. Haha. All that sharing, caring, gift-giving, loving, dancing, singing, caroling, mistletoe-ing (not that we have that over here), ice-skating (with fake ice at Sunway Pyramid)… Sighs. It just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

"Deck the halls with boughs of holly,
fa la la la la, la la la laaaa."

Yes, yes. I'm a sucker for commercialized Christmases. I like fancy-schmancy decorations, pretty twinkly lights, rows and rows of candy-canes, Christmas trees as tall as men on stilts, and plenty of (fake) presents under trees. Sigh. So nice.

"Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer,
you'll go down in his-tooor-rieeeeey!"

Heh heh. You know what?
If I had a kid, he'd be lookin' like this just about now.

*snicker*

"We wish you a merry Christmas and a hap-peeeey neeeew yeeeear!
Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas, y'all! And a happy new year!

p/s: I know it ain't Christmas yet
but you're always welcomed to
come back and read the wishes again
on the 25th of December 2006. =)

Sleepy Spudgy

I really shouldn't do this to myself so often.

*points below*

You know? The wanting-to-stay-up-but-falling-asleep-and-then-landing-on-your-face-and-getting-up-again-pretending-nothing's-happened thing… before the cycle repeats itself all over again? Haha. Nah, I didn't land on my face (though my head feels like lead that's further weighed down with a heap-load of rocks right now). No no, I love my comp waaay too much to do that. =)

Goodnight, folks. Zzz.

--------------------------
Personal Message
--------------------------

Dear Friend (you know who you are),

Thanks for sharing. And yes,
Sleepy Spudgy's super-duper cute. =)

Signed,
Sleepy Tinki

Mr OTH

The time has come! Haha. Yes yes, it's time to heat things up and bring in the man who's caught my eye.

Ahem ahem.

Presenting, the one and only
Mr Jake Jagielski from OTH!

Tada!

*sighs*

He is (in Peyton Sawyer's words) "a total fox."

*wink*

Well, ladies and gentlemen, this lengchai-gentleman-basketballer-singlefather-returningstudent-cum-hunk of a man appeared in 25 episodes on the famed OTH and was Peyton's (played by Hilarie Burton) love interest for quite a number of those episodes. The last he appeared (so far, that is) was on Season 3: Episode 21: Over The Hills and Far Away. (I watched this episode already! So nice!) Haha. I'm sure they'll bring him back. They have to!

Anyways, his character is to-die-for, I tell you. See, he plays this highschool student who's also a single father to a little girl named Jenny Jagielski. He fathered her with this lousy runaway-but-is-now-back-to-fight-for-custody-cos-she-so-doesn't-know-what-she-really-wants mom called Nikki (played by Emmanuelle Vaugier). Thing is, he has this air about him. It's like he's mature but tired; yet, although he's weathered, he still has faith in the world and in the goodness of men. You've really got to check him out yourself. It's hard describing someone so… close-to-perfect. Haha. Of course, I'm referring to his character alone. I wouldn't know if he's a total jerk in real life.

But check this out! He's actually an accomplished singer and musician in real life. In fact, he performed an original song, as well as a cover song in tribute to the recently deceased indie musician Elliot Smith, on One Tree Hill. In total, he's sung four songs on OTH, actually – "Say Yes" (Episode 106 | "Life In a Glass House") , "Mind Leak" (Episode 109 | "You Gotta Go There To Come Back"), "Lonely World" (Episode 109 | "You Gotta Go There To Come Back") and "Someday" (Episode 320 | "Everyday Is a Sunday Evening"), the last two being original tracks from his album Someday EP. Someday isn't that nice a song actually. That I have to admit. It sounds very old school and is but a teeny-tiny step away from falling directly into Snoresville. Bleh. But… his voice is pretty okay lar. Slightly raspy and pretty rugged. Haha. Anyway, considered can sing song worrr. Bravo, boy! Bravo.

And you know what? If you watched the episode I posted earlier, you'd see that the fella so can kiss, man. It's skill, I tell you. Pure skill. Lucky for you guys, I've decided to be nice. If you didn't catch the episode, you can check him out here as well. It's to the song Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. This short video also gives you a glimpse of the ups and downs that come with his love-thing with Peyton.

*sighs*

Yes yes, I agree, Peyton.
He's a total fox, alright.

*snicker*

And you know what else I didn't know? I didn't know that he was the lead in Prime! Haha. Never realised that. I know I thought the lead there was kinda cute but… Heh heh. I didn't know it was THIS particular cutie. Yum! So you see, he really can act as well, okayyy. He's not just a smalltime TV episode star only, okayyy. He acts in movies as well, okayyy. Starred opposite Uma Thurman, okayyy. Relatively (almost) big movie star, okayyy. Dun play play.

*sigh*

But anyways, whatever the case, I'd like to remind you that it's the character, Jake Jagielski, that I like, NOT the real person. That said, let me tell you what did it for me. There was this scene where Peyton and him were making out in her bedroom. Thing was, Peyton was worried about how the night would unfold for she felt that she was less "experienced" than he was (seeing that he had a daughter and all). This a part of the dialogue for that scene: -

PEYTON:  It’s still a big deal to me.

JAKE:  (Pauses) Come here.

(She moves closer to him.)

JAKE:  I’m so happy to be with you right now. I mean, I could barely think straight most of the week.

PEYTON:  Yeah, me too.

JAKE:  Right then, listen to me. I haven’t felt like this in forever… and… I know that I might lose cool points by saying this, but,… let’s just… go slow. Okay?

A few scenes after, he's in a supply closet rattling on to a video camera that's stationed to videotape the students for a time capsule project. At that point, he says: -

JAKE:  So, I’m seeing this girl and I think our experience levels are a little different, you know, but… even so, I’m doing something with her that… I’ve never done before; I’m falling in love.

That's the way, man. Phew. What a guy.
Sadly, he's only a fictional character on TV. =(

*sniffles and then proceeds to wipe drool off chin*

p/s: FYI, his real name is Bryan Greenberg. =)

Flying High

Artist: Jem
Song Title: Flying High

You can't know, oh no, you can't know
How much I think about you
No, it's making my head spin
Looking at you and you are looking at me
And we both know what we want
Hmmm, so close to giving in

Feel so nice, oh yeah, you feel so nice
Wish I could spend the night
But I can't pay the price
Oh no, no

[CHORUS]
But I'm flying so high
High off the ground
When you're around
And I can feel your high
Rocking me inside
It's too much to hide

I know, oh yes, I know that we can't
Be together
But, I just like to dream
It's so strange the way our paths have crossed
How we were brought together
Hmmm, it's written in the stars it seems

Feel so nice, oh yeah, you feel so nice
I'd love to spend the night
But I can't pay the price
Oh no, no

[CHORUS]
And I'm flying so high
High off the ground
When you're around
And I can feel your high
Touching me inside
And it's too much to hide

Back to earth, where did you take me to
I know there's no such thing
As painless love, well, it'll catch us up
And we can never win

But ohhh, I feel so alive
Ohhh, just wanna hold you
Hold you so tight

[CHORUS]
And I'm flying so high
High off the ground
When you're around
And I can feel your high
Touching me inside
And it's too much to hide
And I'm flying so high
High off the ground
When you're around

Okay. So the thing is, just recently, a number of people have asked me where I find my songs. Haha. I never wondered about it till you asked, actually. Well, guys, here's another one for you and this is but ONE way I find my songs. I listen to the songs played in movies, TV dramas and sitcoms. At the same time, I also browse through memorial pages. That's how I found Natalie Grant's Held. Weird stuff I do to get good music, huh? Haha.

So anyways, this song's very "breezy" – very light. IF you read my last post AND watched the five parts of the episode provided, perhaps you'd have caught the song. Haha. It was played after the quote that Brooke Davis made. The one that I posted. Hah! Betcha didn't notice this song either, eh? Bleh.

Anyways, I can't pin-point specifically what it is about this song that I like. It's just… nice. Haha. Oh, wait wait! I know! It has a calming quality to it. Ahhh. Nice. I can imagine myself listening to this in the tub with the lights turned down low, with warm water covered by sweet-smelling soap suds and candles all around – heaven! It's been ages since I've done that, actually. I remember a time when it was my weekly ritual. My very own Tinki Time. Sigh. It's been ages since I've last had alone time to pamper myself.

Life's been busy, busy, busy lately and I think that being home will be good for me. Coincidentally, the year is coming to a close and time for reflection has come around again. Where better to reflect upon the year than at home? The place I grew up, the place I dug my roots into for 17 years of my life. Yes, it's good to be home. Wheee!

p/s: I know I promised to post about the mysterious Mr OTH
of Tinki Talks today. Well, this is so not the time. Haha. I'll post
later tonight in the privacy of my own room where my thoughts
can wonder. Patience is a virtue but hey, I can't wait either! =p

OTH | Season 2: Episode 15: Unopened Letter To The World

There was this period where I went OTH crazy. I stayed up to watch it (three times, same episode), searched and waited for it to load on youtube.com, and surfed intensively for episode summaries and transcripts. Well, I present to you the episode that changed my take on OTH.

EPISODE SUMMARY:  When Tree Hill High does a time capsule project; the gang confesses their most intimate secrets to an anonymous video camera. Nathan's (James Lafferty) anger over Haley's absence (Bethany Joy Lenz) continues to grow, landing both Lucas (Chad Michael Murray) and Nathan in jail. Peyton (Hilarie Burton) and Jake's (Bryan Greenberg) feelings for each other heat up, while Felix (Michael Copon) throws Brooke (Sophia Bush) a party to celebrate her new gig as student body president. Meanwhile, when brought to court, Lucas opts to live with Dan (Paul Johansson) and Deb (Barbara Alyn Woods) rather than Karen (Moira Kelly).

If you guys never watched it or cannot remember if you've watched it before, feel free to watch it later. I've taken the liberty of embedding all 5 parts of "OTH | Season 2: Episode 15: Unopened Letter To The World" at the end of the post for your convenience. See, I'm nice.

Now, of course, me being me, there was a quote from this episode that really got to me. No surprise there if you really knew me. Haha. Some things will never change. So anyways, here it is: -

QUOTE: Somebody, tell me you’ve got love figured out
because I got news for you: it’s pretty darn messy right now. 
*shrug* But I guess it’s always been that way. Wanting to be loved,
to find somebody that makes your heart ache in a good way…
feel understood. So… if you’re robots, or aliens, or something
and you’re watching this right now and that feeling no longer exists,
well,… you missed it… and I feel sorry for you. *smile* Cause
as far as I can tell, that’s what it’s all about. And that’s what
I know it should be about.

– Brooke Davis (Sophia Bush) from OTH,
Season 2: Episode 15: Unopened Letter To The World

I went through the touble of getting it recorded it on mp3 actually. Stayed up for the rerun waaaaay past midnight just to record it. Haha. Desperado betul. Aih. I need to get me the complete seasons on DVD. RM4 satu only ma. Beli! Beli! Beli!

*sighs*

Well, I think Brooke got it right, you know? As messed as things are for me when it comes to Love & Relationships, I feel sorry for those who never had the chance to feel what being loved is like, and to feel what being in love is like. There's this vibe to be felt – an energy that wholly consumes, yet empowers from within. There's nothing quite like it. Hah, or perhaps it's just that I haven't found something like it way down here on Earth… yet. I don't know. Sigh.

Whatever it is, as much as people deny love's claim on their hearts, people want to be loved. We all want that somebody who makes our hearts ache in a good way. We want to feel understood. People lie when they say that love's not what it's cut out to be. It is. It's all that and more.

It's late. And I really should be off to bed for I've a long day ahead of me. But I still have so much to say. Sigh. I may write again tomorrow. And if I do, tomorrow, my favourite guy on OTH shall be revealed. Till then, ta!

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Season 2: Episode 15 (Part 1)

Season 2: Episode 15 (Part 2)

Season 2: Episode 15 (Part 3)

Season 2: Episode 15 (Part 4)

Season 2: Episode 15 (Part 5)

p/s: Sorry, I know their faces are squeezed and they look like crap but
I couldn't find any better versions. Come on, man. Don't complain. Bleh.

Words I Couldn't Say

Artist: Rascal Flatts
Song Title: Words I Couldn't Say

In a book in a box in the closet
In a line in a song I once heard
In a moment on a front porch late one June
In a breath inside a whisper beneath the moon

There it was at the tip of my fingers
There it was on the tip of my tongue
There you were and I had never been that far
There it was the whole world wrapped inside my arms
And I let it all slip away

[CHORUS]
What do I do now that you're gone
No back-up plan, no second chance
And no one else to blame
All I can hear in the silence that remains
Are the words I couldn't say

There's a rain that'll never stop falling
There's a wall that I've tried to take down
What I should've said just wouldn't pass my lips
So I held back and now we've come to this
And it's too late now

[CHORUS]
What do I do now that you're gone
No back-up plan, no second chance
And no one else to blame
All I can hear in the silence that remains
Are the words I couldn't say
Yeah, are the words I couldn't say

I should have found a way to tell you how I felt
Now the only one I'm tellin' is myself

[CHORUS]
What do I do now that you're gone
No back-up plan, no second chance
And no one else to blame
All I can hear in the silence that remains
Are the words I couldn't say

What do I do (What do I do now that you're gone)
What do I say (No back-up plan, no second chance)
And no one else to blame
All I can hear in the silence that remains
Are the words I couldn't say

Yes, it's another Rascal Flatts tune. But hey, it's a real good one. I've really gotta get me their "Me And My Gang" album. It's been ages since that was out and I still have pathetic scraps of it rather than the whole chunk of meat they prepared. Bleh. I suck as a fan. Yes yes, Tinki's a lousy fan to have. Ugh.

Anyways, what I really like about this song is… Hmmm. What I meant to say was, the parts of this song I like are… Hmmm. Very hard la. I like this song. All of it! I like the verses, I like the chorus, I like the bridge, the melody, the tune – everything! Please don't make me chooooooose!!! Nooooo!

*grin*

Haha. Let me drama a bit can or not?
So serious for wat? Ish.

*clears throat*

Okay, okay. I'll be serious from now onwards. I was hungry. You can't blame me for what I said. The hunger pangs went straight up to my head and hit me like a spoonful of wasabi up the nose. Sorry.

*takes deep breath*

Okay. I'm ready.

I get this weird feeling every time I listen to this song. My heart gets heavy and I drown in an emotion I can't really describe. Perhaps it's despair. I don't know. I can't tell for sure. All I know is that I don't like feeling this way. But at the same time, feeling this way feels so natural – so much a part of me that, in the oddest way possible, I suddenly realise that I'm actually comfortable in it. My insides are in a mess. So much so that I confuse myself.

I don't understand the human race. Why is it that we always wait till it's too late before we do anything? Why do we always seek to cure rather than to prevent? Sheesh. What is the matter with us? Will we ever learn? I'm don't get us. Heck, and I'm one of us! No wonder E.T. wanted to phone home so badly. He was probably on his way to a permanent migraine till he upped and left – red heart, glowing finger and all. Sheesh sheesh sheesh and sheesh again!

You see, the problem with us is that we frequently put ourselves in precarious positions where we stand to lose everything we have, simply because we fail to do what we intend to do. That's the problem – "what we intend to do". We don't act upon our intentions. They remain as intentions, and intentions they stay till the cows come home. Come on, what good are intentions when they don't move along and grow to produce the results we desire? Nope, they're no good at all.

"So I held back and now we've come to this
And it's too late now"

As seconds tick by, so do moments pass us by – moments we'll never get to live through again. Don't let things slide to a point of lying in a heap of Too-Late's. Do what you have to do; say what you have to say – and do it now.

I think like these lines best:

"No back-up plan, no second chance
And no one else to blame"

You really can't blame anyone for anything you've done (or, in this case, didn't do), huh? Thing is, life's just so unpredictable that back-up plans are very often obsolete before the moments even start swinging by. And once they do come and go, there's no second chance to it. This kinda makes life sound all depressing, doesn't it? Haha. Well, that bubble might as well have been burst by Yours Truly before it goes kaboom later on, thanks to Life. I'm being nice. I'm doing you a favour. Now, say "Thank you".

I personally think that this song should have gone along the lines of "Words I WOULDN'T Say", rather than "Couldn't". I'm thinking the song probably referred to some girl he was sorta seeing, and I'm assuming he wanted to say something to her but alas, he didn't.

*blinks*

But why couldn't he?

It's probably cos he wouldn't when he should have; probably cos he didn't when he could have. Sadly, his love interest never got to know how he felt about her. So, she left. And now, it's far too late for she's gone and all that remains is haunting silence filled only by words he should have said. Sigh.

I reached out to something when I heard this song and I'm holding on to it. "Words I Couldn't Say" tells me to say what I have to say to those who matter to me where and when I feel what I feel. Not later, not tomorrow, not another day, but NOW. Or else, the moment just slips away and passes me by… and I lose the chance I had. Sigh. There are no second chances. With life, we've only got one chance at each moment. One chance to make that moment count. One chance to make our lives count. ONE chance.

*reads through post once*

*reads through post twice*

*blinks*

Aiyo. I'm in a really good mood so I found it hard to stay serious throughout the post. It was a real struggle! Dang. This hasn't happened before. I so didn't catch the mood I wanted to give off. Aargh! It's actually a pretty sad song! Darn it. And my paragraphing is terrible! I'm all over the place. Ugh. That's what I get for not completing my post when I really "fee-eeeeeel" the song. Aih. Oh well. I'd be bummed out but, as I said, I'm in a good mood so… Haha. Laters!

Held

Artist: Natalie Grant
Song Title: Held

Two months is too little
They let him go, they had no sudden healing
To think that providence would take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling

Who told us we'd be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We're asking why this happens to us who have died to live?
It's unfair

[CHORUS]
This is what it means to be held
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life and you survive
This is what it is to be loved
And to know that the promise was when everything fell, we'd be held

This hand is bitterness
We want to taste it, let the hatred know our sorrow
The wise hands opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow

[CHORUS]
This is what it means to be held
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life and you survive
This is what it is to be loved
And to know that the promise was when everything fell, we'd be held

[BRIDGE]
If hope is born of suffering
If this is only the beginning
Can we not wait for one hour
Watching for our Savior?

[CHORUS]
This is what it means to be held
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life and you survive
This is what it is to be loved
And to know that the promise was when everything fell, we'd be held

Yeah, we'd be held
Ohhh, this is what it is to be loved
And to know that the promise was when everything fell, we'd be held
This is what it means to be held

This is a beautiful song. I stumbled upon it while surfing through memorial pages. (Don't even ask why I was going through them. I don't know.) It's such a sad song but it tells so much of the love of God and how He's always faithful in looking out for us even during our darkest hours. Sometimes, things take turns we aren't prepared for. We try to duck as life throws us blows but duck as we may, some blows we fail to avoid fully. And even if the ducking worked out okay, it sure tires us out. We face disappointments, experience loss, bear countless heartaches, survive living nightmares, endure suffering, sorrow, pain… and go through more pain. Somedays, I wish it'd all go away. I wish I could tell them all to leave me alone. That they'd cut me some slack and give me a break.

But that break never comes.

It never seems to come soon enough.

I get tired sometimes. I get tired from fighting the battles I face, be they big or small. Yes, I get tired. They wear me out and they kill my spirit. Or at least, they try to. When things I hold dear to me are stripped away. When what I've worked long and hard for fails to bring the results I had hoped for. When nothing goes according to plan and everything falls apart. I think I can safely say that I know how it feels.

I just want to escape.

If only I could hide under the sheets, fall asleep and upon waking up, realise that every problem has taken care of itself. If only I could close my eyes and when I open them again, I'd see bright blue skies and the sun beckoning in the distance. If only I could turn the page, close this chapter of my life and look forward to the pretty pictures that call from the chapters that follow.

If only I were still a child who could run into Mummy or Daddy's arms,
knowing that those arms would be able to shut out the rest of the world
with their loving embrace – warm, tight and protective.

Sigh.

If only.

I've often wondered what it'd be like to be cradled in His arms. To be held closely to His chest. To be protected in His embrace. Sure, while I'm down here living the life I lead, His touch is not physical. Not yet. I'm still waiting for the day and am looking forward to it. Nevertheless, even now, I feel His presence and I feel the warmth of His touch. How? Through the many people I have around me. Through the friends He's brought my way. Through prayer, hope and faith in His promises as I wait upon Him. I know He's there. I feel Him. In so many ways. I know that no matter what I'm going through, I'm held. I know it. I am held.

"This is what it means to be held
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life and you survive
This is what it is to be loved
And to know that the promise was when everything fell, we'd be held"

I'm so glad I've got You in my life.

Xbox 360

I can't believe that I'm so left behind.

The promotional campaign for Xbox 360 began on March 14, 2005 and here I am just watching the advertisements on YouTube. Super sad case of an Advertising grad. Ugh. So mem-paiseh-kan. I'm more than a year late. YUCK! BLEH! BLUEK!

Uh… Urm… Uh…
I ran out of descriptive terminology.

*blinks*

And I want to copywrite.
Die la die.

Well, in my defense, the Xbox 360 release began in late 2005 in the United States and Canada, and continued on through mid-2006 in many other regions. Hah! So maybe we were ALL late in Malaysia due to the delayed release in this region. Who's to say it's MY fault?! HUH? What? Wanna fight ah?

*stare stare growl growl*

Grrr.

*frowns*

Aih. Just check out the TVC okay.
Dun come and cari pasal with me.
It's late. I'm sleepy. And grouchy.

And check out this copycat version.

*frowns*

So nice meh, this thing?
So fun to play meh?

Hmmm.

*wheels in head turning*

Wei, who wanna play with me?
We go film our own version. Haha.
That'd be a heap load of fun.

You know what? This suddenly reminded me of The Stars Collide. Haha. Of the three guys behind the screen with their shadow-play and James Bond dance moves. Bang bang. Dang. I still can't believe I missed out on everything. Bleh. So not fair.

*pouts*

p/s: You know what I just realised, tonight aside, I hadn't posted
for a grand total of seven days! That's a full week! Wow.
I've been a good girl. Yes yes, I have. So proud of myself. =)

Keep Holding On

Artist: Avril Lavigne
Song Title: Keep Holding On (OST Eragon)

You're not alone, together we stand
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold and it feels like the end
There's no place to go, you know I won't give in
No, I won't give in

[CHORUS]
Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through

So far away, I wish you were here
Before it's too late, this could all disappear
Before the door's closed and it comes to an end
With you by my side, I will fight and defend
I'll fight and defend, yeah, yeah

[CHORUS]
Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through

[BRIDGE]
Hear me when I say, when I say I believe
Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny
Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
La da da da, la da da da
La da da da da da da da da

[CHORUS]
Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through

(Ahh, ahh) Keep holding on
(Ahh, ahh) Keep holding on
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through

It's out! Finally!
It has actually
been released!
Yesssss!

*punches air and jumps for joy*

Have been looking forward to something fresh from Ms Lavigne a.k.a Mrs Whibley (she married Deryck Whibley from Sum 41 on July 15, 2006) for a bit and this was so, so, so worth the wait. Written by Lavigne and Lukasz "Dr. Luke" Gottwald, this song's a beauty! Really. I've been on it for days and I still can't get enough of it. "Keep Holding On" is the theme song for the adventure film Eragon. (Do click on the link. The site's really cool.)

The song style is still very "Avril", of course. A true fan would be able to tell by mid-first-verse. There's definitely no mistaking it's her. Classic Avril. Thing is, this time round, the song comes with soaring strings that accompany the usual twanging of the guitar. Sweet. Very. I like. It's so simple but there's just something about the song that gets to me. It gets to me in a good way, of course. I guess that maybe a part of it is because it's sort of a love song. Haha. Sort of. The lyrics actually go deeply into words of support and faith in another, survival and perseverance – a power-to-the-people song for sure. Very fortunately, what's best is that Avril's sweet but slightly raspy vocals keep the song from drowning too deeply in saccharine territory. Balance. It's all about balance. Well, it's been awhile since her last album and I can't wait for the third album's release. They haven't said for sure yet but I hope this song's on it. Pray pray pray!

Anyways, the bottom line is that I think this is a really good song. Good lyrics – simple but very uplifting. Almost like Rascal Flatts' My Wish. The kind where you know that no matter what you go through and no matter what you're facing, you're not alone because there's always someone there for you who cheers you on and says, "Hey, I'm here for you. Just trust in me." Sometimes that's all it takes, you know? For there are days when we're at the brink of giving up – days when we feel like we just want everything to go away. It's on days like these that it's be nice to have someone who'd say…

"You're not alone, together we stand
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold and it feels like the end
There's no place to go, you know I won't give in
No, I won't give in

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you"

…and meant every word it.

A Tribute to BlackBoxes

I'M BACK!!!

And it's all thanks to my very own Tiga Sekawan. For the first time ever, Tinki Talks brings you the BlackBoxes behind the blog. Presenting: -

Mr Modem!

Mr Switch!

…and the latest addition to the family,
the baby of the group but the biggest in size,
Mr Lightning Protector!

Wah! The last one's quite stylo-milo, right? Sexy black and all that. Haha. Had to get it la. The lightning fried my modem twice in the last year. (The latest one being my reason for not posting for the past week.) Enough was enough. It was time to bring in "Security" to kick-lightning-butt. =p

Oh, and how could I possibly forget?
There's that well-tangled mess of wires and cables
that keep them all together as one big happy family.

TADA!

*clap clap*

Well, finally! It's been waaaay too long and dear Internet, I've missed you so. My days have seemed bleak and dreary, and everything seemed colourless on the days we hadn't any contact. We've been apart for far too long and it's very unhealthy. It doesn't help to promote the consistent development of our "relationship" as partners in CyberWorld. Never leave me again? You've got another friend by your side now, anyways. One more BlackBox to add to the Brady Bunch next to the stairs. He'll look out for you, for sure. He'd better be worth it. He didn't exactly come cheap.

Anyways, now you're back! Yay!
I love you, I love you, I love you!

*blinks*

On a less cheery note,
it stinks to have a busted lip

and a twisted ankle.
Bleh. So no fun.

Not Since Last Month

I haven't posted since last month!!!

What an achievement!

*grins*

Okay, fine. Last I posted was on November the 28th. But still, considered okay ma. It's been 4 days! FOUR whole days! I think I did pretty well. I deserve and award. Oh wait, I did get one. Check it out!

But really. I thought it was a bit kiam siap of the awarder. A bit la. I mean, I'm understanding and all that. That's why "a bit" only la. For other people, it'd probably be "a lot". Cheh. Why? Cos… Gold only meh? Platinum is the way to go, Mister! Aih. Dunno wan. Tsk tsk. Gold no more "In", okay.

Haha. But really la.
No time. No time at all.

*blinks*

I haven't posted since last month, man!

Bravo to me.

*clap clap*

*bow bow*

That's all folks! I'd love to be hugging my Limited Edition Fart Button to sleep but they have yet to send me the real thing. Will let you guys know if I get it for real. Some people are just all talk sometimes, you know? I wonder if it'll be the same this time round. Oh well, for now, it'll just be me and my pillows. Goodnight.

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Always get 8 hours of sleep a day.

……

This public service announcement was
brought to you by Tinki Talks.