Tinki Talks

"Home" Again...

Artist: Michael Buble
Song Title: Home

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmm...

May be surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
They're each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well, I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I gotta go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not come along with me
This was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home

Let me go home
It'll all be alright
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home

Liked this song from the first time I heard it over the radio – Buble’s first single from the album… Liked the melody – the easy listening kind (one of my favourite genres)… And it was a love song (my ultimate favourite genre)! It’s one of those swoony songs that just put me in a mood – a mood to reminisce… But that aside, I also really, really, like so very the really liked the lyrics – the gist of the song… I guess at that point of time it was something I could relate to… I remember listening to it day and night for weeks! The only song on my playlist that was kept at “Repeat 1” during that time! I kid you not… Haha… I tend to do that sometimes… My housemates would know… I just love irritating the hell outta people… I think it's a gift… =p

Sigh… Okay, fine… I confess… I’ve blogged this song before, too… Seem to be putting my songs on repeat quite a bit on Tinki Talks lately, haven’t I? Hmmm… But who cares? It’s a nice song… Very touching… Makes me go all soft and gooey inside… Like totally sentimental and emotional… My heart’s all jell-O-ish now…

*soft sigh*

Anyways, was trying to get inspiration to write (work wise) and decided to listen to some jazzy, bluesy, classical-ish songs… It worked for a while… Haha… Right up to the point this song popped up on the playlist… Sigh… After that, work pretty much became history…

Well, this song still does bring back memories… I mean, it puts me in a frame of mind where I feel the same way that I felt at that point in time – way back in time… But even though it’s been ages, when the song starts playing, it still feels like it was just yesterday… Haha… Not many songs are able to do this, you know… But it HAS been proven that musical notes, smell and stuff of the sort have the ability to evoke emotions and bring back forgotten memories… It’s kinda cool, huh? That subconsciously, we remember things… Our bodies, our hearts and our souls remember long after our brains forget…

“And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
They're each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well, I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that”

This part really reminds me of the time I used to write letters… Pages and pages per letter… Heaps and heaps of letters! Piles and piles of letters! Hundreds of letters! Haha… I’m not kidding okayyy… I had a stash of stamps kept in my stamp-storage and the post-box was my best friend… =p I remember counting the days it takes for letters to reach to make sure the letters arrive on the exact day I want it to… I know I have to post letter before 11am in order for that day to count when it came to counting days… Haha… It’s all coming back to me now man… I should start writing letters again – snail-mail style… It’s been too long…

“May be surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone”

Haha… For a person like me, this isn’t a problem, yet it’s a huge problem… I’m not really making sense, am I? Haha… Well, you see, I have my fair share of friends… At the same time, however, I am close (like the share-your-heart-out-and-hide-nothing kinda close) to few – very few… I don’t trust easily… Sigh… Some days I could have big groups of people around me, yet I still feel alone… But on other days, I could just have one friend with me at heart (amazingly, it doesn’t have to be physical closeness) and I feel like I have everything in the world…

Whatever it is, it’s just cruel when you’re home but you don’t feel at home… Figuratively speaking, of course… Sigh… It’s true as they say… Home IS where the heart is… My problem right now is that, I don’t know where my heart is…

Tomorrow

Artist: Avril Lavigne
Song Title: Tomorrow

And I wanna believe you
When you tell me that it'll be ok
Yeah I try to believe you
But I don't

When you say that it's gonna be
It always turns out to be a different way
I try to believe you
Not today, today, today, today, today

[CHORUS]
I don't know how I'll feel
Tomorrow (tomorrow), tomorrow (tomorrow)
I don't know what to say
Tomorrow (tomorrow), tomorrow
Is a different day (tomorrow)

It's always been up to you
It's turning around, it's up to me
I'm gonna do what I have to do
Just don't

Gimme a little time
Leave me alone a little while
Maybe it's not too late
Not today, today, today, today, today

[CHORUS]
I don't know how I'll feel
Tomorrow (tomorrow), tomorrow (tomorrow)
I don't know what to say
Tomorrow (tomorrow), tomorrow
Is a different day

Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah, and I know I'm not ready
Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah, maybe tomorrow

Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah, I'm not ready
Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah, maybe tomorrow

And I wanna believe you
When you tell me that it'll be ok
Yeah I try to believe you
Not today, today, today, today, today
Tomorrow it may change
Tomorrow it may change
Tomorrow it may change
Tomorrow it may change

Today’s just been one of those days… Things were crazy; there wasn’t enough time; I only had an hour and a half’s sleep the night before… Sigh… The whole package…

The funny part was that these weren’t the parts that made my day suck… “Funny part”… Hah! I contradict myself… Believe me, it's not that funny when you’re me…

*purses lips*

I’m gonna ramble on a bit here so if reading about how my day sucked isn’t your cup of tea, you might wanna go on to a cheerier blog elsewhere…

Well, one person would have an idea of what I’m talking about but, I don’t wanna talk about it… I mean, not in conversation… This is me letting it out in my space, my post, my blog… Fat phei hei with myself…

“Gimme a little time
Leave me alone a little while”

– In a good way, of course… Really… Don’t worry…

Grrr… Now, for my outburst… Sheesh! I can’t believe I got a shock… What in the world was that about?!? Being surprised? Stunned? Taken aback? Ugh… I hate it, I hate it, I hate it – I hate it all… These words are so not working for me right now… Stupid words… (It’s one of those if-you’re-angry-and-you-accidentally-stub-your-toe-on-a-door-it’s-the-door’s-fault days… On other days, English rocks… Today is not one of those days…)

So what if I saw what I saw? Big deal! What difference does it make to me? None… Zilch… Nada… In this case, Difference = NIL… So why did I react the way I did? It’s so frustrating… I’m frustrated with myself… I really am… I’ve annoyed and exasperated me! Pam, hmmph!

*frowns and frowns again*

It’s okay if you don’t know what I’m getting all worked up about… Not many know… You’re not alone…

*sighs*

Whatever it is, I’m trying to psycho myself into thinking that tomorrow it may change… That tomorrow, it will be okay… That tomorrow will be a different day… Hmmph!

*stomps away*

My God is Spirit, but He is real...

My God is so much bigger than the physical realm… This world we live in, it’s child’s play… There are bigger things happening around us… Things that can be mind-boggling, mystifying and perplexing at times… You see, things can get really messed up, especially when we try to use our humanistic abilities and senses to grasp at the essence of what God truly is… Come on… Trying to understand a multi-dimensional God with a 3-dimensional brain?!? Forget it… There are things our five senses just can’t comprehend without a little faith… This holds true especially when it comes to matters of the heart and to the things of God… Take this for example…

My God is Spirit, but He is real…

• I can’t see Him,
…but His eyes watch over me…

• I can’t touch Him,
…but He holds my life in His hands…

• I can’t taste Him,
…but His Spirit is sweet…

• I can’t smell Him,
…but His presence fills the air…

• I can’t hear Him,
…but He speaks to me…

– pamsong, 18th of June 2006

...“bLur”...

Was just talking to a friend online… And why am I telling you guys this? Well, it was because I just kena sebat say I "bLur"… Okay lar… Blur blur larrr… I am sometimes… Haha… But but but! This time different! I terasa! Look!

…“bLur”…

Hmmm… Why is the “L” in capital?!? Does that mean I’m lame too? Hidden message? Subversive implications? Veiled attacks? Si liao lar…

Blur + Lame = BAD COMBINATION

Last entry of the conversation summore! Too much…

p/s: What’s an SKP look?

迷路 (Mi Lu; English: Lost)

I heard this song being sung live by Sun herself! Fantastic song…Very “kam tong” wan… Read the translations below the Chinese text if you’re not mandarin speaking… Good stuff man…

Artist: 何耀珊 (He Yao Shan; English: Sun)
Song Title: 迷路 (Mi Lu; English: Lost)

[VERSE]

没有人在路边等我了
Mei you ren zai lu bian deng wo le
(English: No one waits at the roadside for me anymore)

没有人跟我吵架了
Mei you ren gen wo chao jia le
(English: Nobody argues with me anymore)

我打开了全部的灯
Wo da kai le quan bu de deng
(English: I have turned on all the lights)

却还是觉得冷
Que hai shi jue de len
(English: Yet, it still feels cold)

毕竟是爱过的两个人
Bi jing shi ai guo de liang ge ren
(English: Last time, two people loved before)

总觉得你会来敲门
Zhong jue de ni hui lai qiao men
(English: Somehow I know you’ll return, knocking on my door)

情歌说的都是对的
Qing ge shuo de dou shi dui de
(English: Love songs say it well)

爱实在很伤人
Ai shi zai hen shang ren
(English: Love is very painful)

[PRE-CHORUS]

为什么自由没有 想像中快乐
Wei shen mo zi you mei you shiang xiang zhong kuai le
(English: Why doesn’t freedom bring the happiness as I imagined)

早知道离别会那么疼
Zao zi dao li bie hui na mo teng
(English: If I had known separation could hurt so much)

当初还要不要爱你呢
Dang chu hai yao bu yao ai ni ne
(English: Then I shouldn’t have loved you in the first place)

[CHORUS]

迷了路的我们
Mi le lu de wo men
(English: Lost, we both were)

走错的不只一个人
Zuo cuo de bu zhi yi ge ren
(English: It wasn’t just one person at fault)

我的眼泪是你的责任
Wo de yen lei shi ni de ze ren
(English: My tears were your responsibility)

你的伤痕也是我给的
Ni de shang hen ye shi wo gei de
(English: Your wounds were from me)

迷了路的永恒
Mi le lu de yong heng
(English: Lost, in eternity)

当初的誓言太天真
Dang chu de si yan tai tian zhen
(English: Last time, promises made were too childish)

如果终于学会了体谅
Ru guo zhong yu xue hui le ti liang
(English: If I finally learn to forgive)

爱情再来有没有可能
Ai qing zai lai you mei you ke neng
(English: Can this love start all over again)

REPEAT [CHORUS]

我还在等
Wo hai zai deng
(English: I’m still waiting)

静静的等
Jing jing de deng
(English: Quietly waiting)

Nice, right? Super “kam tong”, right? Sigh… But read sure no fee-ling wan… Wait till you HEAR it man… Reading it is nothing, I tell you…

Fun Fact #1

Check this out!

----------------
Fun Fact #1
----------------

In a survey conducted in 2000 by Kimberly-Clark, it was found that men prefer to fold their toilet paper, and women like to wad it.

Hmmm... Are you a Folder, or a Wadder? Wadder – is there even such a word?!?

Tim Eagook!

Have you guys ever heard of a Tim Eagook? I think it sounds like some kind of bird… One of those vulture-looking ones with small heads, botak necks and grubby feathers… The big kind… And like all others, the ugly kind…

*shudder*

Okay okay… Stop scratching your heads and go clear the dandruff on your screen… This was where it came from…

Pam Song : And it dates back to long tim eagook!
Friend : Nice mashup of words there…
Pam Song : Hahahaha… Thank you…

*grin*

Understands? Tim Eagook… Haha… I suck at typing… =p And I hate birds... Ugh...

Tinki Recruiting

Tinki lives FOREVEEEERRRRR ER ER ER ER!!!

*ER ER ER echoes then fades out*

MUAHAHAHA!

Also, Tinki now is doing recruitings to have find army for fight with bad bad guy... Tinki lookings... Anyones wanting help Tinki? Tinki give lollipop...

*pulls pity face*

p/s: This post is dedicated to a Fart Master who wants to kill Tinki...

Making Memories Of Us

Artist: Keith Urban
Song Title: Making Memories Of Us

[VERSE 1]
I'm gonna be here for you, baby
I'll be a man of my word
Speak the language in a voice that you have never heard
I wanna sleep with you forever
And I wanna die in your arms
In a cabin by a meadow where the wild bees swarm

[CHORUS]
And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us

[VERSE 2]
I wanna honor your mother
And I wanna learn from your pa
I wanna steal your attention like a bad outlaw
I wanna stand out in a crowd for you
A man among men
I wanna make your world better than it's ever been

[CHORUS]
And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us

[BRIDGE]
We'll follow the rainbow
Wherever the four winds blow
And there'll be a new day
Comin' your way

[VERSE 3]
I'm gonna be here for you from now on
This you know somehow
You've been stretched to the limits but it's alright now
And I'm gonna make you a promise
If there's life after this
I'm gonna be there to meet you with a warm, wet kiss, mm hmm...

[CHORUS]
And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us, mm hmm...
I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll win your trust making memories of us, mm hmm...
Ooo, oh baby

Was working on a wedding present earlier tonight and decided to listen to some love songs… Haha… To get into the right mood… Or for inspiration, maybe? =p Haha… Browsed through my thousands of songs and finally settled for this one and left it on repeat mode… Sigh… So lo-man-tik leh!

There are many sections in this song that I think are really good… For starters, I like the way Keith Urban sings, “I’ll be a man of my word,” in the first verse… I really believe that those who keep their word are those who eventually earn the trust of the people around them… More so when it comes to a relationship… Keeping your word builds trust… If you wanna say it, make sure you do it – fulfil it… It matters more than you’ll ever know… Don’t say “I love you” when you’re not really feeling it… Never say “forever” if you’re not gonna mean it…

Next, I like the way he described his love for her to the very end – till death do them part… Also in Verse 1, he sang, “I wanna die in your arms”… Even to the end of his life, till his dying breath, it’s the same woman’s arms he wants around him… No one else should come even close to being the last face you want to see before you leave this world… The last person you touch… The last look of love that tells you that your entire life was one worth living simply because you’ve loved another with everything you had…

In the second verse, he sang, “I wanna honor your mother. And I wanna learn from your pa”… I think this is really important… Many fail to put enough emphasis on this part... You see, when two people get together, it’s a merging of two families – a blending of the social lines that used to differentiate one family from the other… And since Keith’s a guy, he said that he’d want to learn from his partner’s father… I think it also works the other way round… When a woman loves a guy, she should want to learn from his mother… Of course, I’m referring to picking up the good and respectable traits… You see, a father is THE man in a girl’s life for the many years before the guy came along… Likewise, a mother is THE ultimate woman in a boy’s life… As such, if you think yourself worthy of being with the one you love, be sure that you can take care of that person AT LEAST as well as their parent has, and love them at least as much as their parent has… In fact, to justify a parent giving away their child, one should be able to give MORE than their parent ever could! In every area of life, when change takes place, it’s almost always an upgrade… Why not when it comes to caring for and loving the person you wanna spend the rest of your life with? You’d wanna be the software upgrade to your partner, don’t you? If they’re already on Windows XP (the parent’s standard), dun la cause them to have to use Windows 98!

Keith ended the verse with “I wanna make your world better than it's ever been”… That should be the cry of every person who has a partner… Your being in their world should make it a better place… You’ve only got one mission, one assignment – that is to make your partner the happiest person alive, every day of their lives…

And finally, for the Chorus… He says, “And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you. And I'll earn your trust making memories of us…” I think this is quite obvious and there’s no need for lengthy explanations… Love like nobody else does… To earn a person’s trust is a continual process… The funny thing about trust is that it’s not about doing anything extra… It’s about NOT doing the uncalled for extra – not doing what you’re not supposed to be doing… Haha… You get the idea, don’t you?

The more I listen to this song (it’s still playing now), the more I feel it’s a song one would sing for his bride on their wedding day… Haha… Looks like I found the perfect accompaniment for my wedding pressie task at hand…

Whatever it is, I believe that marriage is for forever, right till the end when we finally come face to face with our Maker… Once you jump into it, there’s no turning back… It’s a journey that comes in the form of a one-way ticket… And like Charlie in “Charlie and The Chocolate Factory”, I hope each one of you find your “golden” ticket…

Anyways, the pressie’s done and I’m pleased with what I see… Will post a pic of it up sometime… The timing’s not really right… Haha… =p

That's When I'll Stop Loving You

Artist: N'Sync
Song Title: That's When I'll Stop Loving You

When winter comes in summer
When there’s no more forever (yeah yeah)
That’s when I’ll stop loving you
(That’s when I’ll stop loving you)

I’m sure you’ve heard these words before
And I know it’s hard for you to trust them once more
You’re afraid it all might end
And a broken heart is scared of breaking again
But you’ve gotta believe me I’ll never leave you
You’ll never cry long as I am there
And I will always be there
You will never be without love

[CHORUS]
When winter comes in summer
When there’s no more forever
When lies become the truth
Oh, you’ll know then, baby
That’s when I’ll stop loving
That’s when I’ll stop loving you
(That’s when I’ll stop loving you, yeah)

As long as sunlight lights the sky
Light of love will be found in these eyes of mine
(These eyes of mine)
And I will shine that light for you
You’re the only one I’ll ever give this heart to
What I’m trying to say is nothing will change this
There be no time that you won’t find me there
Cause I will always be there
You will always have all my love

[CHORUS]
When winter comes in summer
When there’s no more forever
When lies become the truth
Oh, you’ll know then, baby
That’s when I’ll stop loving
That’s when I’ll stop loving you
(That’s when I’ll stop loving you)

When this world doesn’t turn anymore
When the stars all decide to stop shining
'Til then I’m gonna be by your side
I’m gonna be loving you forever
Everyday of my life

[INSTRUMENTAL BREAK]

Well, you know then baby
That’s when I’ll stop loving
That’s when I’ll stop loving
That’s when I’ll stop loving you
(Oohhhhhh)

[CHORUS]
When winter comes in summer
When there’s no more forever
When lies become the truth (the truth, yeah)
Oh, you’ll know then, baby
That’s when I’ll stop loving
That’s when I’ll stop loving you
When winter comes in summer
When there’s no more forever
When lies become the truth
Oh, you’ll know then, baby
That’s when I’ll stop loving
That’s when I’ll stop loving you
That’s when I’ll stop, babe
When I'll stop, babe
Loving you

Oh, how time flies… I still remember the days when boy bands were the in thing… Back in the day when music was still sold primarily in cassette form and when black-market piracy was a little less rampant… Girls used to drool and go goo-goo-gaa-gaa over those singer-dancer pretty boys… *lap lap pant pant* Sigh…

Anyways, it’s been ages since I’ve heard this song so I decided to take a trip down memory lane… Downloaded a whole bunch of boy band tunes… Haha… “I’ll never breeeeeaaak your heaaarrrrrttttt!” Haha... Okay okay... Enough heartbreak stories for now... Ignore a line in first verse of this song... I just realised that it says, "And a broken heart is scared of breaking again" Hmmm... True... But... Let's move in on my favourite topic instead – LOVE! Haha... If you've read my earlier posts, they were mostly (okay, fine – entirely) on Love and Relationship... Haha... And I realised that it's been awhile since I've honoured those issues... It's time for a trip down memory lane... =p

So... I really like this song… I mean, I loved it even last time when I was that little, tiny, kuchi, teeny-bopper... Small little "phi sai"... But now, after looking at it from a different perspective, I’ve grown to love it even more!

I really like the way the songwriter described the extent of his love for his girl – “that’s when I’ll stop loving you”… Somehow or another, most love songs are written in the “active action” form… “I’ll always love you”, “I need you”, “I’ll give my life for you”… Hmmm… How to describe ah? Something like Love of Commission? Haha… But here… The writer used all things impossible to tell his lover that his falling out of love with her is impossible, too! Love of Omission, maybe?

“When winter comes in summer
When there’s no more forever
When lies become the truth
Oh, you’ll know then, baby
That’s when I’ll stop loving”

Whatever it is, I like it… It’s different… =)

*frowns*

Darn this song… I’m all swoony now…

Singaporeans and SIA

Singlish, like Manglish, is a totally independent language... It's English, yeah... But it's in a totally different class of it's own... We speaking the same language but we no understands... Haha... It amuses those who do not naturally converse in it and it does take awhile to learn the placing of the "SIAs", and the "MEHs", and the "LOs", and the "AHs"... Cannot simply put wan ah! Singaporeans have some sort of a Degree in it... They are offered a programme whereby they graduate with a Bachelor of Singlish... If they do reallly really well, they get a Bachelor of Singlish (Hons.)... =p Well, Singaporeans say "sia" all the time... We, Malaysians, don't... Check out my previous post entitled – "Dan Brown hen POWER de leh!" so that you're not lost...

This was the conversation that transpired between two buddies (Buddie 1 = Budak Curley; Buddie 2 = Budak Botak): -

Buddie 1 : Eh, buddie! He talking wat SIA?

Buddie 2 : Dunno la… Very blur already… Ta Jiang Jesus Bu Shi God, Zi Shi man…

Buddie 1 : Shi meh? Jesus Bu Shi God meh?

Buddie 2 : Aiya… Tell you ah… Zhi Ge Dan Brown Hor, Hen “power” De Wo… Maybe Shi Zhen De leh?

Buddie 1 : No lo… Zhen De Shi Zhen De, Jia De Shi Jia De… Believe in wrong thing, Jiu Wan ler…

Buddie 2 : Huh? Wei She Mo?

Buddie 1 : Ok ok… Ni Kan ah… If you think 1 + 1 = 3, then how?

Buddie 2 : Teacher mark you wrong lor! Chi Yan fail lor! Mother scold lor! Friends laugh lor…

Buddie 1 : Ok ok ok… So…

Together : Truth is truth, false is false… Believe in false and you’ll be gone… Jesus is Lord, born as man… Died for us and rose again… Hey!

Others : Shhh!

And for the punch line... My purpose for posting... In the exact words that were said to me, "Must be some patriotism to Singapore Airlines or something..."

This is your cue... Laugh, folks... Laugh...

Crawling Back To You

Artist: Backstreet Boys
Song Title: Crawling Back To You

Everybody knows
That I was such a fool
To ever let go of you
But baby, I was wrong
And yeah, I know I said
We'd be better off alone
It was time that we moved on
I know I broke your heart
I didn't mean to break your heart
But baby, here I am

[CHORUS]
Banging on your front door
My pride's spilled on the floor
My hands and knees are bruised
And I'm crawling back to you
Begging for a second chance
Are you gonna let me in?
I was running from the truth
And now I'm crawling back to you

I know you're in there
You can make me wait
But I'm not gonna wait
It's the least that I can do
Just to tell you face to face
I was lying to myself (Lying to myself)
Now I'm dying in this hell (Dying in this hell)
Girl, I know you're mad
I can't blame you for being mad
But baby, here I am

[CHORUS]
Banging on your front door
My pride's spilled on the floor
My hands and knees are bruised
And now I'm crawling back to you
Begging for a second chance
Are you gonna let me in? (Let me in)
I was running from the truth
And now I'm crawling back to you

[BRIDGE]
If you could see these tears I'm crying
Touch these hands that can't stop shaking
Hear my heart that's barely beating
You would see a different man
But baby, here I am

[CHORUS]
Banging on your front door
My pride's spilled on the floor
My hands and knees are bruised
And I'm crawling back to you
Begging for a second chance
Are you gonna let me in? (Let me in)
I was running from the truth
And now I'm crawling back to you

Banging on your front door
My pride's spilled on the floor
I was running from the truth
And now I'm crawling back to you (Yeah)
Now I'm crawling back to you (Crawling back to you)
Crawling back to you (Crawling back to you)

I kinda like this song… So what if it's a boy band tune? I don't care… I guess I might as well since I'm on this topic anyways…

Have you ever thought of getting something you kinda wanted? Say, an iPod, maybe? Or a top you thought you’d look good in… Either way, it’s on discount… You have the cash… But… You decided, hey, I don’t need it… I don’t want it… I’ll go home, sleep on it, and if I still think about it, then I’ll go back to get it… I know it’s happened to me… More times than I’d like…

The problem is, life is really ironic… When you don’t want it, it’s everywhere… And when you suddenly decide that you do, the tide turns and it’s nowhere to be seen… It’s happened to me… Plenty of times… Okay, look… A little background information for you… Haha… I’ve got this “disorder”… If I want something really badly, I’ll go to great lengths to get it… If it were a top, I’d go to every single outlet in the Klang Valley… Haha… If by then I still can’t get it, I’ll resort to different states… “Crawling back” to get it, if I may say so… A bit the desperado but, hey, that’s me… (I like to think of myself as determined and focused on what I want rather than being as nutty as a fruitcake…) =p

So… What I’m getting at is that when I decided not to buy the top, I sorta knew on the inside that I’d regret it… But I did it anyways… I decided to walk away and not make that purchase… Silly, silly me… Sigh…

Okay, I’ve derailed again… What I’m trying to say is that this world is crazed – figuratively speaking… It’s funny how things can turn around faster than you can say, “Huh?”… Sometimes it’s for the better; sometimes it’s for the worse… The sucky part is that you’ll never know which type it is until it hits you squarely in the face… Haha… Oh well, that’s life eh? This song is about the realisation that a good thing has passed you by… No wait… It’s about realising that you’ll let a good thing go…

Captivating: Broken Hearts

Book Title: Captivating
Written By: John & Stasi Eldredge

Have been on this book for a bit… A good read with heaps of things to learn and plenty of suggestions for self-improvement… Wish I had the time to really focus on it but… Sigh… I’ve only been able to sneak in pages with it – before food arrives during meal times and those few minutes before I head off to La La Land at night… It’s a page-turner for sure though… It’s times like these I wished that I had more than 24 hours in my day… =(

So anyways, the following is a paragraph in the “Captivating” that caught my eye and I realise that I’ve gone back to read it a couple of times… I love the way the paragraph is written and the way the message is conveyed… Check it out…

"You cannot be alive very long without being wounded. The sun rises, the stars follow their courses, the waves roll in crashing against the rocks, and we are wounded. Broken hearts cannot long be avoided in this beautiful yet dangerous world we live in. This is not Eden. Not even close. We are not living in a world our souls were made for. Something's rotten in the state of Denmark and in our backyards as we journey through the unknown terrain of the moments and months that make up our lives."
– (Eldredge, 2005, pp. 64)

Yeah yeah, I know… I’ve recently blogged about having broken hearts and, as I said before, there’s no escaping it… Not in this world we live in that’s far from perfect… It’s definitely no haven to protect, shield and envelop our oh so fragile souls… Everything changed with the fall of man…

We’ll never be free of having broken hearts… We were born into a world that was set up for terrible heartbreaks… Dishonesty, deceit, lies… Pain, grief, misery… They’re all apart of our vocabulary… Unfortunately for us, they’ve become a major part in our lives at present… A part that so powerfully wounds, damages and abuses us, sometimes even without us realising it…

We can’t run away from heartaches… Not unless, of course, we shut everyone else out from our worlds and never let anyone get close enough to be able to do reach that part of us that’s buried so deeply… Hmmm… But then again, with that, you never give your heart a chance to really beat for someone other than yourself… Think about it for a moment… That, my friends, is sad… It really is… Dying from a lonely heart is no better than dying from a broken one… A life lived for no one but yourself is a life that holds no purpose; it has no meaning…

But… In such a world we live in, I’m glad I’ve got someone who will never let me down… Who will never break my heart… Who, on the other hand, was broken for me… And for that, I am thankful… I know I’ve been truly blessed for having found my Anti-Heartbreaker, my Soul-Saviour, my Lifesaver… Literally… =)

I admit, I can’t yet say that I’m eagerly jumping – the hop-skip-and-a-jump kind of jump – onboard the whole heart-on-the-line train… I want to… But it’s never easy to do… I guess it’s a case of things being easier said than done… Whatever it is, I’m just glad that with all the sucky things that are happening around us in this day and age, I know that my heart is safe in Him…

------------------
Bibliography
------------------

Eldredge, John & Staci (2005), "Captivating: Unveiling The Mystery of a Woman's Soul", Nelson Books: Nashville, Tennessee.

Dan Brown hen POWER de leh!

This is really, really funny... Had been meaning to post this for awhile now but just never got to it... 真的很POWER的叻! (I.e. Zhen de hen “power” de leh!) Haha... Enjoy!

CLICK HERE for The DaVinci Code Movie Premiere

p/s: I prefer the Singlish Version better... =p

Forest Tree Day '06

June 12, 2006 – It’s “Forest Tree Day” today! Whoopie!

Okay, I’m not nuts… It’s a private joke… Which (kind as I always am), I’ll share its significance with you… =)

I was chatting to a friend online and was thanked for being so willing to “share” my time with my friends for their friends who need them more… Ish… You understand or not? Okay… The story goes like this: -

• Let’s say I’m A…
• A is close to B…
• B has a friend called C…
• A is unaware of who C is…
• But C especially needs B for emotional support at this point of time…
• A tells B to be there for C because C needs B more at this moment in time and tells B not to worry…

That kinda thing lar… That was how I got into the forest and tree thingy…

Okay, enough with the introductions and the grandmother stories… It goes like this… Picture a friend in your mind – one that you really care for, one whose friendship you really treasure… Well, that friendship that you share is like a seed… As time passes, the seed soon grows into a tree… As many friendships as you have, imagine that you'll plant a seed and watch it grow into a tree... For each and everyone of those friendships – one for each friend... Some trees grow faster than others, some at a slower pace… But either way, it grows… A friendship grows in more or less the same way… The more you nurture that friendship, the more you get to know each other; the more your friendship flourishes, the more you grow to love each other … Some friends just click and connect almost instantaneously (*wink*), while some take a longer while build their friendship over the expanse of many years…

Now, for the question of the day… Heh heh…

*ding ding*

If you can plant your friendship tree in a forest, why plant it in a pot?

Rather than suffocate your friendship by holding on to your buddy too tightly and keeping that buddy on a leash, why not loosen your grip and see how much more your friendship can grow with the added space? Just like plants, friendships grow better without set parameters and boundaries to hinder growth and expansion… A friendship kept in a pot will only grow as big as the pot allows it to… Why limit a friendship when the miracle of its growth is, in fact ,limitless?

Unfortunately for many friendships, like plants that grow only to their maximum size allowed by the pot they were planted in, their growths become stunted… Should there come a time when one party tries pushing harder to make room for bigger roots, the pot cracks and soil and roots spill out, messing up the surrounding environment… The friendship deteriorates and could possibly disintigrate… Then what? Soil spills? Nah… It's not that simple… Instead, the soil that comes from the cracked pot represent tears that are bound to be shed from a crushed and broken spirit…

Now, this is where the forest comes in… Isn’t a wide and spacious forest with chirping birds and morning dew so much wiser a choice than a pathetic little pot that may eventually crack? Plant your friendships in a forest… It’s the sensible thing to do… Give each other room to grow while sharing the same space – space that’s so big you’ll never have to fight for breathing room… Give yourselves that precious chance at freedom… You’ll be glad you made that choice… I’m glad I did… And fortunately for me, B’s also glad I did… It was really nice to hear that B appreciated me for being the way I am when it comes to our friendship… =)

Today’s my Forest Tree Day ’06 with B… Yippie! Happy Forest Tree Dayyy! 365 days left to our next Happy Forest Tree Day... Yes yes... It's gonna be a HAPPY one... I didn't make a mistake...

*grin*

Okay...

*ahem*

1 Mississippi... 2 Mississippi... 3 Mississippi...

All For Love

Artist: Hillsong United
Song Title: All For Love

All for love a Father gave
For only love could make a way
All for love the heavens cried
For love was crucified

Oh, how many times have I broken Your heart
But still You forgive if only I ask
And how many times have You heard me pray
Draw near to me

Everything I need is You
My beginning, my forever
Everything I need is You

Let me sing all for love
I will join the angel's song
Ever Holy is the Lord
King of Glory, King of All

Oh, how many times have I broken Your heart
But still You forgive if only I ask
And how many times have You heard me pray
Draw near to me

Everything I need is You
My beginning, my forever
Everything I need is You
Everything I need is You
My beginning, my forever
Everything I need is You

All for love a Saviour prayed
Abba Father, have your way
Though they know not what they do
Let the cross draw men to you

There’s no denying it – we live in a narcissistic world…. A world that teaches us to think only of ourselves, to live and exert effort for selfish gain, and to strive and work hard only when it serves to benefit our own hedonistic lifestyles… I’m no angel (you guys had better not be nodding your heads madly, agreeing with this)… In fact, I am as guilty of this as anyone of you out there…

While listening to this song, certain words from the pre-chorus started jumping out at me… It said: “Oh, how many times have I broken Your heart, but still You forgive if only I ask”.

Many of us have, at one time or the other, been heartbroken… Try not to look at it only from the romantic sense… Love is so much more than just romantic love… It goes way beyond that… It is defined as “an intense feeling of deep affection”… You see, it doesn’t necessarily just refer to BGR or husband-wife relationships… As long as you invest time and effort to care for another, you’re already putting your heart on the line… And by doing this, you can’t avoid the fact that you run the risk of getting your heart broken… Your friends could have broken your heart sometime before… Or it could have even been your parents… Things like these happen all the time… We just don’t talk about it as much as when it involves a couple that is romantically involved…

Either way, what we fail to realise is this – while we blame others and selfishly nurse our broken hearts, we've also been culprit to having broken God's heart countless times… We’re too caught up in a world that puts too much focus on picking the pieces of our own broken hearts that we forget that our Daddy’s heart also breaks each time we sin or rebel against Him… How self-centred can we get? Sigh…

And, of course, while I reflect upon my wrong doings toward Daddy and work towards rebuilding my vertical relationship with Him, I must not forget the horizontal relationships He’s blessed me with... So… One final thing while I’m on this… We lose the very essence of our humanity when we lose the ability to feel for others… If I don’t feel, I’m no different from any other beast that walks this planet I live in… I am human… Therefore, I’d better start acting like the kind, loving and compassionate being that God made me out to be…

------------------------------------
A Personal Note to Daddy
------------------------------------

Dear Daddy,

I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done to disappoint You… Will try harder… I promise…

Yours always,
pamsong

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A Personal Note to My Friends
------------------------------------------

Guys (this, of course, includes my babes, too),

I just want you to know that I care for you…

HuGGies,
pamsong

World Cup's No Good for Women

*chuckle*

This is really funny... I'm APPALLED, of course... But I couldn't resist posting this... Haha... It really IS funny...

*chuckles again*

Dear Wife / Partner / Girlfriend / Significant Other,

1. From June 9 to July 9, 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper daily so that you are well aware of what’s going on regarding the World Cup. This is so that you will be able to join any conversations that are bound to take place. If you fail to do this, you will be looked at with disdain or alternatively, you will totally be ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

2. During the World Cup, the television is mine – MINE, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even catch a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

3. If you really have to pass in front of the TV during a game, I don’t mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me, or worse, blocking my view. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV in a desperate act to get my attention, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I won’t have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell on the floor… It won’t happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least two six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things for me to nibble on. And please do not make funny faces at my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12pm and 6pm, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please! If you see me upset because the team I support is in the midst losing, DO NOT say “Get over it, it’s only a game”, or “Don’t worry, they’ll win next time”. If you say these things, you will only make me fume and get angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so-called “words of encouragement” will only lead to a break-up.

7. You are welcomed to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during half-time but only when commercials are on, and only if the half-time score pleases me. In addition, please note I am saying “ONE” game; hence, do not use the World Cup as an excuse to “spend quality time together”.

8. The replays of the goals are VERY important. I don’t care if I have seen them before or I haven’t seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any baby-, or any other child-related parties or gatherings that will require my attendance because:
• I will not go,
• I will not go, and
• I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights shown on TV every night are just as important as the actual games. Do not even think about saying “but you have already seen this... why don’t you change the channel to something we can all watch together?” because, the reply will be “Refer to Rule #2 of this list.”

12. And, finally, please save expressions such as “Thank God the World Cup is only every four years”. I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League Premier League, FA Cup, etc…

Thank you for your cooperation.

Regards,
Men of The World

Feels Like Today II

Artist: Rascal Flatts
Song Title: Feels Like Today

I woke up this morning
With this feeling inside me that I can't explain
Like a weight that I've carried
Been carried away, away

But I know something is coming
I don't know what it is but I know it's amazing
You save me, my time is coming
I'll find my way out of this longest drought

It feels like today I know
It feels like today I'm sure
It's the one thing that's missin'
The one thing I'm wishin'
Life's sacred blessin' and then
It feels like today
Feels like today

You treat life like a picture
But it's not a moment that's frozen in time
It's not gonna wait
Till you make up your mind, at all

So while this storm is breaking
While there's light at the end of the tunnel
Keep running, towards it, releasing the pressure
That's my heartache, soon this dam will break

And it feels like today I know,
It feels like today, I'm sure
It's the one thing that's missin'
The one thing you're wishin'
Life's sacred blessin' and then
It feels like today
Feels like today

Ohhh... Ohhh...

And it feels like today I know (Feels like today)
It feels like today, I'm sure
It's the one thing that's missin'
The one thing you're wishin'
Life's sacred blessin' and then
It feels like today

Feels like, feels like your life changes (It feels like today)
Feels like, feels like your life changes

It's the one thing that's missin'
The one thing you're wishin'
Life's sacred blessin' and then
It feels like today

Feels like, feels like your life changes (Feels like today)
Feels like, feels like your life changes

Being stuck in a rut’s no fun… Some days I just feel like a hamster running on a wheel in a cage… Round and round and round… Running so fast, running so far but going nowhere, making no progress… Was watching Episode 5: Run, Smallville – Season 4… The song was played during the final scene of the episode… Yes yes... I know I've blogged this song before too... But this is my blog so I'll do what I please... Hah!

I remember back in late last year and the early this year when I was addicted to the song… Used to listen to it as a perk me up in the morning before classes… Haha… A good start to each morning, no? To hear that the very day I was living would bring me something good… That God would bring to me life’s sacred blessing – whatever I’m missing, whatever I’m wishing for… How wonderful is that?

"Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy!
I'm so happy toooodddaaaaayyyy!"

Well, I’m all ready and waiting for something good to happen to me today… It’s just one of those days… I feel it… I know it’s coming… I believe it’s coming… And it sure “Feels Like Today… =)

All Men Want To Be Heroes

Was given the book "Captivating" by a close friend and was reading about what women’s hearts long for (whether they know it or not)...

• To be romanced
• To have an irreplaceable role in a great adventure
• To have a beauty all her own to unveil

But I’ve sidetracked... Even BEFORE I even started! Goodness gracious me...

No, no, no...

*Pam desperately trying to psycho self*

All written work start with an introduction... Hah...

What I wanted to focus on were the three things that the heart of a MAN desires...

• A beauty to rescue
• An adventure
• A battle to fight

This came from the male version of the book I’m reading, entitled “Wild At Heart”... Don’t stab me with poison darts if you disagree with any of the points mentioned, okay (doubt you will though)... But anyhew, you wouldn’t want to anyways... Not now... Muahahaha...

I thought of writing a post about this while I was reading “Captivating” but... I had no drive; I wasn’t compelled enough to dedicate my time to this (I take ages to complete a blog and am really anal about spacing and alignment)... In my previous post entitled, “Make The Dark Queen Happy”, I mentioned, "Interestingly enough, most who wanted to help out were guys! Hmmm..." Well, a friend (he wants to remain anonymous) who read my blog said: -

“i think i know why most guys "help" u yesterday… cos we can't help it ..its some kind of mechanism that is built in ... ur situation kinda triggers the "rescue damsel in distress" mechanism…”

Ahh... A beauty to rescue – CHECK! Haha... Now, THIS is why I’m writing... All men want to be heroes... They do! Come on, even the Beast wanted a Beauty... Deep inside, all men secretly wish that they had a Beauty to rescue... Yes, I said ALL...

To quote the Eldredge couple: -

“Where would Robin Hood be without Marian, or King Arthur without Guinevere? Lonely men fight lonely battles. You see, it’s not just that a man needs a battle to fight. He needs someone to fight FOR. There’s nothing that inspires a man to courage so much as the woman he loves. Most of the daring (and okay, sometimes ridiculous) things young men do are to impress the girls.”

This is, of course, not to say that we ladies are unable to take care of or fend for ourselves... It just means that men WANT to offer their strength and come to our aid... They LONG to show off their many talents and abilities to us women... They desire to play the hero in our lives... And come on, we selfishly want them to keep wanting to do so... Oh, just admit it... It works out well for us anyways... =p

So, the question now is: -
..."Do these heroes have the right key?"

Unfortunately for many men and women out there, sometimes the Hero meets the wrong Damsel in distress; the Prince meets the wrong Princess; and the Charmer meets the wrong Beauty... Talking from a girl’s point of view, sometimes, the Hero, Prince or Charmer that comes a-knocking just isn’t carrying the right key... Only ONE key (I believe in monogamous relationships) was made to unlock the door we’re standing behind – to unlock the storeroom of love that’s kept in our hearts... Uh oh... The door remains shut... Wrong key... Now what? Well, these things happen... The guys just keep hunting for another door, that’s all... And we ladies just keep waiting...

The problem is, sometimes, some heroes come along with a key that fits the lock but doesn’t turn... You know how some keys are of the same brand but have a different cutting? Well, this is what I mean... Sometimes, Mr Hero thinks, “Yes! I’ve found my door!” He inserts the key and, hey, it slips right in! Coolies... But as he tries turning the key, it jams... Sigh... Nope, wrong door again...

This scenario describes the dating scene to perfection... Sometimes, people think that they’re a match... They believe that they were “made for each other”... Destined to be together... So, they decide to date (slipping the key in)... Unfortunately, upon closer inspection, they realise they’re not the other’s counterparts... What then? Well, it’s easy to let go when the key is withdrawn as early in the relationship as possible... Imagine this... Every day, is like an attempt to force the key to turn... The longer you wait before withdrawing, the more the key and lock “hurt” each other with the forced friction... At the end of the relationship, both come out scarred, bruised and broken...

Sometimes, it’s a different case... Perhaps the door lock hasn’t been oiled for a while, or the key wasn’t cut as well as it should have been... Upon inserting the key, the Hero ends up taking a longer while and greater energy before the lock pops... But... It DOES pop in the end... The best part about this case is that sometimes, people who don’t automatically gel when they first get to know each other end up being exemplary lovers for others to follow... You see, with this, the key and the lock WORK on their “relationship”... The key turns the lock and in time, the rust makes way for smooth turning of the lock’s mechanism; while the key’s rough edges are smoothened out through the passage of time and soon enters the keyhole and is able to turn with ease...

Here comes the best part... Well, both the key and the lock start rubbing off on each other and after a while, metal shavings from both objects soon mount up on one another... With the naked eye, it’s impossible to differentiate both powdered metals... That’s what happens when people fall in love and start spending heaps of time together... Their lives merge and intertwine... Sure, they’re still separate entities, whole on their own, but are mutually dependent and inter-reliant on one another... Amazing, huh?

Aargh, I terkeluar topik again... The least I can do is make sure that I end on the right note... Heh... So guys, you wanna be Mr Hero, don't you? And come on, girls, you want to be rescued by a Hero someday, don't you? Ain't life and love grand?

Whatever it is, I’ve really gotta get this book... Heh...

Come What May (Revised)

This post is lovingly dedicated a very close friend of mine...

Come What May
- Lyrics Revised by PamSong

Never thought I'd see you like this
Like you've never seen the sky before
I want to be there, to give you peace
Everyday I wish it more and more

Listen to my heart, can you hear, it sings
Telling me to help you through anything
Seasons may change - winter to spring
But I'm with you until the end of time

Come what may, come what may
I am with you until my dying day

It's not enough just to see your face
I'd take away your stress till there's not a trace
And now my life doesn't seem such a waste
It's all because I've got you

And there's no mountain too high no river too wide
Call out "PamSong", and I will be by your side
Clouds never gather and stars never collide
Cos I'm with you (I'm with you)
Until the end of time (Until the end of time)

Come what may, come what may
I am with you until my dying day
Oh, come what may, come what may
I am with you (I am with you)

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place...

Come what may, come what may
I am with you until my dying day

It sucks when friends need you and you can't physically be around to be there with them...

You're a tough cookie, you are... Am with you at heart... Always...

"If you're alone, I'll be your shadow.
If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder.
If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow.
If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile.
But anytime you need a friend, I'll just be me."
~ Author Unknown

*hugs*

Make The Dark Queen Happy

Aww, come on... In my defence, I couldn't help it wat... Not I want wan... Sniff... But, if anything, it's my right, okay!... Come on, it's backed by scientifically proven biological evidence! When the Dark Queen strikes out again (I hope she goes into hiding for good), I’d bite the head off anyone who’d even dare breathe in my direction... It's at times like these that I give myself license to act like a witch with a capital B...

PMS is powerful, I tell you... Sure, many talk about it, they crack jokes about it, they blog about it, they discuss it, they research it... But in this case, “experience” is the keyword... Unless you’ve experienced it, you won’t ever get a glimpse of what it’s like... Trust me... There ain’t anything like it...

---------
Quote
---------

A male gynaecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.
~ Carrie Snow

I now realise I’ve underestimated its control and influence... When it hits (attacks, more like it), even the toughest of women cry for no reason... Not that I cried, of course... *grin* Honest! PMS-ing women get unbelievably cranky, insanely moody, incredibly sentimental, awfully emotional, highly irritable, and temperamental as all hell... Should I even bother to go on? “Unpredictable” and “unstable” (like the worst of explosives) pretty much sums it up... Perhaps what they say is true – PMS = Poor Man Suffering... Hah!

I’m feeling better though... Much, much better... *smile* And to all who tried to cheer me up, many thanks go straight from me to you... =)

The episode yesterday brought something to light though – something I kinda knew but failed to take note of or pay attention to till last night (or this morning)... My msn nick clearly publicised my intense displeasure to the rest of the world and a number of friends popped by to “help me out” with my “problem”... Interestingly enough, most who wanted to help out were guys! Hmmm... Out of the lot, only two were close female buddies... Why? I don’t get it... I mean, don't get me wrong... I'm thankful but... Aren't girls the ones who are more motherly and naturally nurturing?

With that, I made interesting "discoveries" with reference to the different sexes approach to making me feel better... Haha... It was hilarious, really... Both sexes were really supportive and helpful, but in very different ways... The girls were very loving, kind and caring; with loads of “I wish I could be there with you...” and, “Do feel better okay, babe...” The guys, on the other hand were really funny, humorous and amusing – doing their best to crack me up and make me laugh with heaps of (lame) jokes, a (pretty good) poem and hilarious offhand remarks...

Thank goodness I got the best of both worlds... Muahahaha... I love my friends... But it doesn’t change the fact that PMS sucks... Grrr...

This p/s is dedicated to my personal msn cheer-boy: -

The only way you'll really know what you're capable of doing is by first, taking a risk...
~ pamsong (Thursday, 8 June 2006)

*grin*

Pucker-Me-Up

There are days when all seems bleak... The night sky seems that little bit darker than usual... The moon’s neither as round, nor glowing as brightly as it always seemed to... The stars are on strike and are nowhere to be seen... The clouds threaten to unravel in curtains of rain... Today is one of those days – a day, oh, so depressing and disheartening... Sigh...

I’m not happy... I don’t know why... Ugh... That’s the part that really sucks... I mean, if I had a reason to be unhappy and I knew what that reason was, at least I could “counter” it – deal with it... But now!?! Aargh! All I have is a lousy feeling that stands without ground... This is so freaking frustrating... Ish...

I’m not happy...

------------------
Quote to Self
------------------

Count the garden by the flowers, never by the leaves that fall. Count your life with smiles and not the tears that roll.
~ Author Unknown

I suck at psycho-ing myself... I feel like crap and I'm still not happy... Make me happy...